Loss and Hope
by RivLee
Summary: Sixth story in Legend, Lore, and Lullabies. Estel comes to Imladris, much to the delight of all. TA 2933 to 2940. AU, Het and OC. Complete.
1. And So It Goes

**Disclaimer: Tolkien and Co. own it all, I just have the oc's**

**Loss and Hope**

**_Chapter One: And So It Goes…_**

_I spoke to you in cautious tones  
You answered me with no pretense  
And still I feel I said too much  
My silence is my self defense_

_-_Billy Joel_, And So It Goes_

* * *

_**Imladris, TA 2933**_

Morwen pressed a hand to her side as the itch of newly healed skin made itself known. The greatest healer in all of the Arda had mended her wound and even he was not able to cure the irritable itch. Morwen had not so much been targeted this time as her horse had. A simple ride out to one of the human settlements, even with a the guard of seven Elrond of all people had insisted she take, had still seen her injured as her horse was wounded and Morwen was thrown off, her side being pierced by a convenient branch.

Morwen was, to say the least, starting to become frustrated. It wasn't so much the threats pouring into her office, which as a councilor was a normal thing to see, or the severed cat's head found in her room (that turning out to be a more personal attack on Morwen and she was pretty certain she knew the perpetuator), or the ever increasing worry of her friends and family but the simple losses of freedom she was experience that were driving her to a state of madness. Glorfindel had taken to treating her as if she would break at any moment and even Eluialeth had become uncharacteristically cautious in regard to her. The only two who knew Morwen the best, and therefore knew how to treat her to truly comfort her, that is normal, were the twins. The twins were currently out with the Rangers, helping Arathorn as he lead the Dunedain and looking for any excuse to spend time with the young Aragorn, Arathorn's son, only two years in this world.

Typical, really.

As much as Morwen adored the Rangers and their families, having visited them many times after Arathorn's wedding ceremony, she was starting to become quite annoyed whenever the twins rode out, knowing it would be a gift if they were seen in Imladris before the year's end.

Of course, Rian was slightly more annoyed but was coping with it admirably.

So was life, even for the elves. The twins were comfortable riding with the Rangers, had developed close ties with their people and were aiding the reports on occurrences in Arda more so than any of the other patrols. The twins had certainly found their place.

Morwen reached up for another stack of notes, eager to finish this most recent entry to Celebrian.

Though as soon as she sat back down, the itch again made itself known. Again. Sighing in irritation she pushed her notes and the book into her desk and stood up, going in search of Elrond and hoping he had some salve to give her.

Pushing out her chair she jumped as it met with resistance. She turned shocked eyes around to see who or what had blocked her way. Her face broke out into a smile as she saw the amused face of the intruder. She quickly stood up, throwing her arms around the silver haired guest, receiving an equally warm embrace in return.

* * *

"There is an orc population moving closer to this settlement." Arathorn announced as he sat down next to Elladan. 

Elrohir looked up from where he was attaching the fletchings to the arrow shafts. "How close?" Elrohir asked.

Arathorn shook his head, "Close, the reports say they should be here within the week."

Elladan put down the cup he was drinking from, "We should ride out."

Arathorn nodded, "At dawn. Let us have one more night of peace before we fight again."

Elrohir smiled and nodded his assent but Elladan watched him go, his face slack. Elrohir turned to his twin, watching in concern as Elladan suddenly shuddered and pressed a hand to his forehead.

"Elladan?" Elrohir asked his brother.

Elladan shook his head, "It was…it was nothing." Elladan turned to follow Arathorn as he made his way to the temporary home he had in the ever-moving settlement. "I just…" Elladan gave his twin a weak smile, "…it was just a simple feeling."

Elrohir went over to his brother, laying an arm over his shoulders, "Elladan, as an elf and the son and grandson of two who are well known for their foresight, I would not ignore this allegedly simple feeling."

"Even if it was….I do not think I will be able to do anything about it. I..just…." Elladan worked free from his brother's arm. "I just need to go for a walk. Please, Elrohir, let me go."

Elrohir studied his twin, eyes misting over and a sense of wildness about him. Only guessing what his brother had truly seen, he nodded and let him go. There were times when even a twin could not comfort his or her other's half, this was clearly such a time.

Elrohir wondered if his brother had seen what Elrohir had dreamed months ago, if Elladan knew what was bound to happen to their dear Arathorn. Elrohir had not said a word then, not wishing to share such dark thoughts. Elladan appeared to believe if it was not spoken of, it would not come to be.

Elrohir sighed as his eyes sought out the night sky, his pale face painted in the orange glow of the fire. His light eyes sought out the star of his grandfather.

Elrohir laughed as he thought of his family history. The perfect example of beings never able to escape their fates.

Even now, those from his uncle's line could not escape this supposed curse or blessing on their line.

The Valar would have their way, be it with new life or new death, they would have their way.

* * *

"I hear Tirnion has returned to Imladris." Erestor said as he watched Glorfindel lean over a map, making note of another known area of orc attacks. 

"Hear is the correct word, indeed." Glorfindel said, placing a large mark over a pass, an area of almost constant orc attacks. "I knew of his return once I heard Morwen's delighted laughter all the way at the barracks."

"I have not seen her smile so broadly in many years." Erestor agreed, purposefully prodding his friend with his words.

Glorfindel looked up at him, a mixture of amusement and annoyance, "I know what you are searching for, it is not there. I am sure if I had not seen you for many decades I too would be greeting you with such loud and joyous sounds." Glorfindel trailed another path on the map with his finger, "Tirnion has been as worried as all of us and has not had the luxury of seeing her healed and well with his own eyes. I would not dare interrupt the reunion of such close friends. He has worried about her because of the two injuries and the threats, she has been worried about him because, well…."

"Mirkwood." Erestor said as he moved beside Glorfindel, drawing a thick red circle around Dol Guldur.

"Yes, they have both earned this respite from their duties. Thranduil has sent Tirnion here for a decade, forcing him into a position as an ambassador."

"I received such a notification from Thranduil, I just did not think it would be legitimate. Can they afford to have Tirnion absent for so long?"

Glorfindel nodded, "Tirnion has trained his second well and Berenon has earned a high rank. Thranduil could see Tirnion was being run ragged, heading the secret patrols, aiding the borders of LothLorien, often being sent to negotiate with human settlements and with his seneschal duties, he has earned this." Glorfindel smiled, "Even if he first saw it as an exile. Thranduil has seen Tirnion grow from a child to his seneschal, he could see the personality change and the general loss of spirit. No elf in such a position likes to be thought of as weak and Tirnion would certainly never ask to be relieved. Better to have your seneschal gone for a decade than gone for a very long time when he is killed from his slackening reflexes or his fading soul."

Erestor smiled, "He reminds me of many of our generals of old, far too dedicated to duty and the care of others to take note of their own being. Even Elrond often fell into such a trap."

"The fool's trap of immortality, when life is supposed to be endless why worry about performing your duties without end?"

Erestor smirked, "Oh, and you have learned to not fall into such a trap?"

Glorfindel looked up, locking eyes with Erestor, "Of course not, but I have learned to acknowledge it is there."

Glorfindel stood back as he studied the map, noting all the marks of the attacks. "Do we still have those maps with the notes of the attacks from the Second Age?"

At the silence Glorfindel looked up at Erestor. He bit back a smile at the look on Erestor's face, the chief councilor clearly thinking Glorfindel had lost his senses.

"Glorfindel, where are we currently residing?" Erestor asked.

"Imladris." Glorfindel dutifully answered.

"And who is the leader of Imladris?"

"Elrond."

"So, do you honestly think we do not have the maps of the orc attacks from the Second Age?"

Glorfindel nodded, spinning on his foot, "Right. Where are they?"

* * *

Morwen laughed as she saw Tirnion handle the latest batch of kittens Thandrog had found in the stables. The wild cats around Imladris had decided it was a perfect place to give birth and a steady stream of kittens had been found by Thandrog. Tirnion tried to hold the one kitten back, a grey one almost as light as Tirnion's hair, who was determined to climb to Tirnion's shoulder and watch over all. 

Tirnion turned his head to the side as he saw Morwen grimace.

"If you are not healed, you should not be sitting there." Tirnion said.

Morwen shook her head, "I am healed, have been for some time. It is just the horrible…"

"Itch." Tirnion nodded, "I know it well." Tirnion attempted the pull the kitten down again. "Do you not have a salve?"

"Lord Elrond was making more last night. We have, unfortunately, been using it quite often. I was on my way to collect some when you decided to impede the progress of my chair."

:Tirnion laughed, "Yes, well, my abdomen is not feeling so kind to your chair back, not anymore."

"You did not make a sound."

"You learn not to." Tirnion shook his head as Morwen grimaced again, "Go collect the salve and apply it. I am sure the kittens will watch me as well as you. Go."

Morwen nodded reaching a hand out to the wall to assist in her rise. "I will be back soon."

"And smelling of something sweet, I am sure."

"And grimacing as I hold my clothing away from my body. I do not know if I find that more irritable than the horrid itch."

Tirnion laughed as Morwen walked off, more than a few of the kittens running to follow her, the small paws attempting to hook into the hems of her ever elusive skirts.

"Oh, no, not again." Tirnion heard Eluialeth's voice admonish from outside the room. He grabbed up the small grey kitten and walked to the doorway, eager to see her. Tirnion glanced outside of the room, spotting the petite elven form of Eluialeth attempting to get one of the black kittens down from a shelf.

"I did not know he was a climber as well." Tirnion said, holding back his amusement as Eluialeth whirled around, dark hair flying.

"Tirnion!" she exclaimed, temporarily forgetting the kitten who looked like Eluialeth's head would be a perfect place to jump onto. Tirnion hurried over to her, quickly pulling her back with the hand holding one kitten as he reached out to catch the other attempting to fly from the shelf.

"I did not think you would want claws in your skull." Tirnion explained as Eluialeth gave him a questioning look.

"Sadly, I have become used to it. These beasts are more birds than cats. They've been wreaking havoc, but Lord Elrond finds them so amusing, they are not being forced out of the house." Eluialeth reached over to his arms, pulling the wriggling black kitten free. "Elladan claimed this one as his own, but he is gone now, leaving us to care for him." Eluialeth ran a finger down the glossy coat, "How long have you been in Imladris?" she asked.

Tirnion smiled, "Not very long. I went to Morwen before anyone else. Alas, she abandoned me to look after that den of miscreants." he said as he gestured to the room.

Eluialeth nodded, "Yes, I saw her going to the healing halls. All the kittens love her, they follow her around the house." Eluialeth smirked, "They do not, however, like Glorfindel. Whenever he leans too close to her, they all start hissing."

Tirnion's eyes lit up at the anecdote and turning to the grey bundle in his arms he said, "Oh, we will be dear friends then."

"How long are you in residence?" Eluialeth asked as she moved to the room housing the rest of the brood.

Tirnion followed her, his face displaying a look of confusion, "Your father has not informed you?"

"Of what?" Eluialeth asked as she pulled her hair up and away, much to the displeasure of the black kitten who had been batting at the strands.

Tirnion sat the kitten down and walked over to Eluialeth reaching to braid her hair, "I will be here for a decade at the least. I have been….volunteered for the position as ambassador."

Eluialeth turned her head to glance at him, "You do appear tired and that is never good for an elf."

Tirnion shrugged, "There has been lots to do, many things to take care of in the lands. It is good, though, to see the forces lead by another hand, to insure that such a thing can be done in case I am not able to lead them."

Eluialeth laughed softly, "Such a diplomatic answer. Your mother would be so proud."

"As she should, for that is what she told me, that it needs to be done this way. I just…"

"Do not wish to hand over control to another. Yes, quite common of those in charge of the forces. Glorfindel has finally acknowledged he cannot be all over Arda and has relinquished control to those he trusts the most." Eluialeth said.

"Yes, I have heard few others are allowed to run with the Rangers except for Elladan and Elrohir." Tirnion said.

Eluialeth nodded, "That is more the twins decree than anyone else's. The Rangers are a small group in constant danger, they do not need the additional worry of outsiders. Elladan and Elrohir are quite different, the Dunedain have grown-up knowing them, as did their forefathers and so on and so forth. They also know that somewhere, deep down the lines, they are kin. A blood tie, no matter how far removed, can often be a powerful thing."

"Indeed." Tirnion said as he began to coil the braid on top of Eluialeth's head, having done a similar action many times while Morwen and Eluialeth had resided in Mirkwood for that very brief time.

Eluialeth nodded her thanks as Tirnion finished and went to sit down, "How has Mirkwood been?" she asked, never one to linger over pleasantries.

"Things could always be worse." Tirnion muttered. "Dragons on one end, spiders on another, trolls from the mountains, orcs all around, talk of suspicion and Eru knows what out of Dol Guldur. But we are still having our nighttime feasts, enjoying the skies and stars while we are still able."

"Yes, while many speak of the legendary courtesy and mystery of the elves, few speak of our stubbornness." Eluialeth said.

Tirnion said, "Well, we were here first."

"Actually.." Eluialeth started.

"Eluialeth, I am very tired, let me pout. There is no room for logic when one is whining, it completely undermines the purpose of a whine."

"I will remember that." Eluialeth said.

"As you should." Tirnion answered. He looked out of the window, "So, Eluialeth, tell me how the squirrel population in Imladris is faring."

* * *

Elrond tried not to laugh at the clearly uncomfortable she-elf in front of him. 

"Morwen, I was there at your birth, I bathed you as a child, and I was the one to repair the damage from this most recent injury. I am a healer, it is acceptable for you to lift the hem of your shift in my presence and let me apply this to your healing scar."

Morwen swallowed, "Yes, well, two out of three incidents you mentioned I was not exactly in a proper state of mind and as for the third, I was hardly allowed to bathe myself at that age. It is possible for me to apply the salve myself."

"As your healer, I desire to check the progress of said healing."

"It is itching, it has healed." Morwen said.

"It could be an infection of some sort." Elrond said.

Morwen sighed and moved to lift up the hem, "I do not like you at this moment."

Elrond smiled, "None ever do. Healers are praised during the healing but cursed during the after care."

Morwen shrugged, "Few are ever truly content…" Morwen stopped as Elrond spread the soothing concoction on Morwen's healing scar, "…that however does wonders for my level of contentment."

Elrond laughed at Morwen, finding amusement in her blunt responses. "I have always been a firm believer that the discomfort of the healing is to remind us not to be so foolish as to be hurt again."

Morwen gave Elrond a dark look, "Oh, I am certain that is what you have told yourself with all of your own healing wounds. As a healer, should you not welcome the chance to bring comfort to others?"

"Not when they encroach on my time set-aside for lore studies."

"You are lore, why study it?" Morwen asked.

"Morwen!" Elrond protested, laughing.

"Yes?" Morwen asked.

Elrond shook his head at her cheek, "The more injured you get, the less reserved you become."

"Blame it on the itch, it causes me to lose all sense of propriety." Morwen said.

"I think it is more you are becoming tired, being held within these borders. Though, Tirnion's presence should aid that problem." Elrond said.

Morwen raised a brow, "You requested him, did you not?"

"I did no such thing. Thranduil merely expressed concern for the health of his seneschal's soul and I may have mentioned how soothing Imladris often is to a weary soul and how, in Imladris, Tirnion's spirit would surely feel lighter surrounded by so many he cares for and a distinct lack of duty he will be feeling."

"You are aware after a week without leading a patrol, he will become irritable."

"Glorfindel has already set aside a few for Tirnion to lead." Elrond said.

"Glorfindel knew Tirnion was coming?" Morwen asked.

Elrond looked up, his eyes wide. "No?"

Morwen narrowed her eyes as Elrond pulled down her shift, settling it carefully over her side. "Is that so." she stated.

Morwen stood up and turned to Elrond,. "I fear Glorfindel will find himself preoccupied for the next few moments. He will be having a talk with one of the councilors about withholding information."

"Are you certain you want to discuss that matter again?" Elrond asked, remembering some of the near on explosive discussions of the past.

"Yes, well, we have reached a sort of understanding as to what qualifies as information which must be shared at once and that which must be withheld. Visiting friends fall under the category of must be shared, seeing as how both of us tend to look down on sudden surprises and can, at times, leave suddenly rendering a surprise visit pointless."

"Such a system you have." Elrond said.

Morwen went to reply but was interrupted as Rian came into the room, a haunting look on her face.

Elrond turned to her, "Rian?" he asked, voice full of concern.

Rian, her face paler than its natural light color shook her head, "I do not know what it was, I do not know. I..just..I felt it Elrond, just now, I felt it."

"Felt what?" Elrond asked, his voice taking on the demanding tone of the Imladris Lord as opposed to the calm voice of the father and healer.

"Sadness, a great overwhelming sadness, from who I do not know…" Rian started.

"Elladan…." Morwen breathed, closing her eyes as she searched out across the connections and the threads which tied all of their souls so tightly together, "….and Elrohir."

Elrond's face went still as he dug for the strong, yet buried so deep within,, tie to his children, his twins, "……yes." Elrond agree, the weight of mourning in his tone. "It is Arathorn."

* * *

Elladan watched in an almost frozen fascination as his brother, tears streaming down his face, did all he could to bring life back to Arathorn. Elrohir was murmuring every elvish healing spell Elladan had ever heard, and some he had not. 

He moved to his brother's side, passing a disdainful glare at the orcish arrow which had pierced the eye and brain of Arathorn, taking him from this world.

"Elrohir," he said to his brother in his most soothing tone, "he is gone."

Elrohir shook his head, undone braids falling about his face. "No, no, Elladan he is only sixty. He has a wife and a small child, I must…"

Elladan crouched down beside his brother, unmindful of the stunned troops gathered around them, unable to comprehend of the loss of their so newly appointed leader. Elladan pulled his twin into an embrace, murmuring soothing words to the distraught elf.

"He is gone, Elrohir, let him go. Let the dead rest, Elrohir, we must honor Arathorn. We must watch after the living."

Elrohir looked up at his twin, "He is…..was..so young." Elrohir let out a humorless laugh, "Arador always feared…"

"Do not dwell, Elrohir. But we must get away from here, it is not safe." Elladan glanced up at the Rangers, giving them a nod, allowing them to collect the body of the chieftain and prepare him for the funeral.

* * *

Back at the settlement the Rangers were at odds for how to proceed. 

"Aragorn is only two years in this world, he cannot assume the role." Arathorn's former second stated.

"It is clear the evil forces are doing their best to destroy us, decimate our line. Arathorn could not beat them and Aragorn is certainly no match. What are we to do?" Another of the Dunedain stated.

Elladan stood up, his bearing similar to that of his father, a sense of authority around him. "We will hide Aragorn in Imladris, and Gilraen. It is the only way to secure the lives of both."

"And what of us? What are we to do? Who is to lead us if not our royal line?"

Elladan turned to the former second, "You will lead, as the second, and you will continue to lead, until Aragorn is ready to assume his role. However long that may be."

"And if I die?"

"Then your second." Elrohir answered. "We will still be here to help guide you, as will our father, and all in our realm. You know it is no longer secure for the families to travel. Whosoever wishes to seek a home in Imladris will be allowed."

"You are certain your father will allow this?"

Elrohir nodded, "He knows well what it is like to have a home destroyed and to be torn asunder from a family. Imladris is a refuge, that will not change." Elrohir turned to Elladan, "I will find Gilraen and set out. We need to leave soonest, so as not to bring more danger."

Elladan nodded, "I will stay here and help them. Be safe, Elrohir and ride quickly."

Elrohir nodded, leaving his brother to be the leader alone this one time. He made his way to the tent housing Gilraen, already silent in her grief as she went through Arathorn's possession.

"My lady?" he asked quietly, bowing as Gilraen's dry eyes turned to him, her face already lined with worry.

"Yes?" she asked, her voice only slightly trembling as her fingers caressed one of Arathorn's shirts.

"My lady, I express my most sincere condolences."

"Elrohir, you did all you could from what I have been told. Your condolences are not needed, for I know you grieve as much as I do." Gilraen rose and rested a cool hand on his face, "I have lost a husband, but you, Elrohir, you have lost a brother…perhaps a son."

Elrohir lowered his face, not wishing for Gilraen to see his tears. "He was a great man, even if so short lived."

Gilraen nodded. "What is to be done next?" she asked.

Elrohir took a deep breath, "We must take you to Imladris for your safety and that of Aragorn's."

Gilraen nodded, "And when must we leave?"

"My lady, forgive me, but now would be best." Elrohir said.

Gilraen took a step back, "We have just buried Arathorn this morning, I have to…"

"I can leave orders for my brother to sort through this, or for some of your ladies to do the same. I will even help you pack the most essential things now, but my lady, we must leave for Imladris, I urge you to hurry."

Gilraen nodded, "I concede to your wisdom. Please, help me pack some of Aragorn's things."

Elrohir followed her deeper inside, moving with elven swiftness to hurry the insufferable task of sorting through the remnants of a life so recently passed. He fought back his own tears as he packed things he knew Aragorn should have, to know how great a man his father was. Elrohir stopped for a moment, just one moment, and let his grief consume him before he moved on. They had much ground to cover tonight.

* * *

"Bells?" Glorfindel asked as he stared at the reins and bridle on his horse, prancing around letting the bells ring. 

The stable master seemed to flinch at the tone in Glorfindel's voice.

"Sir…."

"Glorfindel, stop intimidating our very loyal stable master." Morwen said as she tossed Glorfindel's pack at him. "It was Tirnion's suggestion, something they sometimes do in Mirkwood. The bells, elvish bells mind you, let those who you are riding to distinguish you from friend or foe. The Dunedain must be quite on edge at the moment. Do not let your sudden appearance frighten them into shooting you. After all, we sill need to have words over…"

Glorfindel quickly mounted his horse, "I really must set out. If Elrohir had already left as Elladan told his father, then I truly do need to be on my way."

Glorfindel rode off as Morwen glared at him. She shook her head and muttered, "Out of all the elves in Arda I…."

Morwen stopped at the curious look of the stable master. She nervously smiled at him, "I shall go see if the rooms are prepared for our guests, excuse me."

Morwen walked off admonishing herself and doing her best to ignore the smile of the stable master.

* * *

Gilraen tried her best to calm Aragorn as Elrohir rode ever quicker. Their small escort, a few Rangers and some of Gilraen's closest friends had long been left behind, their horses' stamina no match for the elven steed she currently sat upon. 

Gilraen turned apologetic eyes to Elrohir's face as he brought the horse down to a stop. "I am sorry, he always loves riding with Arathorn." Gilraen closed her eyes at the thought, such a thing would never happen again.

Elrohir dismounted, holding a hand out to help Gilraen down. "He may just need to eat or rest, I am certain we are riding much faster than he ever has." Elrohir placed a comforting hand on Aragorn's forehead. "Even at his young age, he can sense the lost."

Gilraen nodded, holding back her own tears, needing to be strong until she was safe enough to break.

Elrohir held out his hand, "May I?" he asked.

Gilraen, knowing it was safe to give Aragorn over to Elrohir but still cautious and not so willing to let her young son go, slowly handed him over to Elrohir.

Elrohir held him close, signing a soft lullaby. Aragorn, as if fascinated by the singing voice or by the twinkling night sky, quieted his cries.

Elrohir smiled and handed him back to Gilraen, "Let me find some food for him. I am certain there is something in my pack."

Gilraen watched as Elrohir stopped his movement, cocking his head to the side, listening to something intently.

"Elrohir?" Gilraen asked, fearing an attack.

A wide smile broke out on Elrohir's face, "Shh, listen."

Gilraen strained her ears, watching as Aragorn sat up intently, also hearing the faint sound.

"Are those…." Gilraen started.

"Bells!" Aragorn exclaimed.

Elrohir laughed, "Bells, indeed. Elvish bells."

Aragorn let out a happy laugh as he saw a white horse with a shining rider come to them.

"You have made some great progress." The golden haired elf said as he dismounted. He bowed his head to Gilraen, "My lady, I am sorry for your loss. I never had the honor to meet Arathorn, but he was much loved by Elladan and Elrohir."

Gilraen nodded, a little in awe of the elf. "Th..thank you."

The elf approached her cautiously, reaching out a graceful hand to tickle Aragorn's side.

"You must be Aragorn. Well, I am Glorfindel and I am also very honored to meet you."

Aragorn smiled shyly, but put his tiny hand in Glorfindel's outstretched one.

Elrohir smiled, "Gilraen, this is Lord Glorfindel of Imladris, seneschal to the realm and still captain of our forces, since he will not step down."

"I was leading forces before your grandfather was born." Glorfindel said as he gave Elrohir an amused look.

"Do you not then think…." Elrohir stopped as Glorfindel gave him a clearly playful glare.

Glorfindel turned to them, "I know you were resting, but we should get back to Imladris. Feed Aragorn, let me give your horse some refreshment and then we must get on our way."

Gilraen watched as Glorfindel pulled supplies from his pack, handing something to Elrohir and then moving over to Elrohir's horse, rubbing his mane and pouring out water for the horse to drink.

There was a reason why the elves were called the good folk and in her weariness and grief, Gilraen was grateful for them.

* * *

A/N 1: Updates might be slack for a bit, since it's just by the grace of a visiting friend I was able to write this. Chapter title from the Billy Joel song. 

A/N 2:

**Nima,** thank you for the review and for the note! I fixed it as soon as I read your review. I always appreciated the help. I am glad you enjoyed it. And yes, "there is always hope" is the mantra of this whole series.

**Renna**, thank you! I do love to do my parallelism between the older and the younger elves. I like the warmth, even with the angst, I'm a big believer in not-so-simple reactions to situations. I am so glad you've enjoyed it all so far, and I hope you enjoy this new addition as well!


	2. This Is The Time

**Disclaimer: Still not mine, with the exception of the original characters, still all Tolkien's and company.**

**Loss and Hope**

_**Chapter Two: This Is The Time**_

_This is the time to remember  
Cause it will not last forever  
These are the days  
To hold on to  
But we won't  
Although we'll want to  
This is the time_

-Billy Joel, _This is the Time_

* * *

_**Imladris, TA 2933**_

Gilraen felt a gasp catch in her throat as Imladris was revealed to her, the sanctuary appearing out of what had seemed nothingness. Aragorn had been sleeping, curled up into his mother's side but awoke at the sound of the rushing water of the valley below. The voices of elves were singing to them in greeting.

Elrohir leaned his head down and whispered, "We long ago found it more comforting to our visitors if we greeted them by song than any other way."

Glorfindel continued, "Yes, tired travelers rarely like surprises."

Gilraen nodded, still in an odd state of shock, her mind not truly comprehending the amount of change her life had gone through in the past few days.

* * *

The group of young elves were huddled together and hidden on a balcony, looking for the new arrivals. Elrond had forbid a large crowd to greet them, not wishing to scare Gilraen and her young son. Rian had calmed when she had been assured by Elrond both twins were as well as could be expected. She was now eager to see the young child. No heir of Isildur had ever come to Imladris so young. It had been many years since such a young child had dwelled within the actual halls of the house, brining a certain level of excitement to all gathered.

"I hear Glorfindel's bells." Tirnion remarked, a small smile on his face.

"Perhaps would should tie them around his ankles so he will not be able to sneak up on us anymore." Eluialeth said.

"Oh, he would probably know how to step without such things making a sound." Rian said as three sets of eyes turned to Morwen.

Morwen however was not so concerned about her friends as she was about the new arrival.

"Is it so safe to…" she started but was cut off by Erestor, who had silently joined them on the balcony.

"Few in the house know who our guests are, they assume it is merely a great lady of the Dunedain, traveling with her son now that the Chieftain has been brought down." Erestor leaned on the railing, spotting their guests, "Are those bells on Glorfindel's horse?" he asked, laughter in his voice.

Tirnion nodded, "Despite how he is, none felt it would do well for morale if Glorfindel was shot by friendly fire."

"That would certainly be a problem." Erestor agreed.

A hush came over the group as the riders came into sight. Elrohir was first, his horse carrying him and a dark-haired woman carrying an equally dark haired child.

"There is Gilraen." Rian breathed.

"The boy must be the son, then." Eluialeth said.

Both mother and son were looking around the river valley, Gilraen with caution and Aragorn with delight. Elrohir looked calm and in control to any who did not know him so well as to see him completely laid bare of all pretense, but both Erestor and Morwen saw the weakness in him, the control on his mask of indifference starting to slip. As Glorfindel came behind them, shinning on his horse much to the amusement of the others, Erestor placed a hand on Morwen's shoulder and whispered into her ear, "Go to the healing halls and set up a room for Elrohir. Do not alert any others of your presence. Also, set up a room for Gilraen and her son, I will send Faeleth to you."

"We have rooms…" Morwen started.

"Not for this night, this night they must have a peaceful rest in a very calm atmosphere. Go." Erestor urged. Morwen nodded and the order and hurried off. Erestor leaned on the balcony railing again as Elrond greeted the group, the tone of his voice, though not his words, being carried on the wind. As Erestor had suspected, the tone was comforting and cajoling, Elrond already working his healing on Gilraen and Aragorn and whether or not he realized it, Elrohir as well.

Though their reason for coming was dark indeed, Erestor already felt the renewed sense of life coming to the valley, awakened by the young bright eyes of Aragorn as he took in the new world around him.

* * *

Erestor watched as Gilraen sat in Elrond's study, her eyes wandering around the room, noting the books and the banners, the maps and the papers. Aragorn stood on her lap, laughing as Elrohir tickled his face, distracting him from the discussion they were about to have.

Elrond gave the poor woman, so obviously soul tired, a very warm smile. "Gilraen, please, be at peace, for you are safe here. Those of the Dunedain have always been welcome in Imladris and they always shall."

Gilraen nodded, "I thank you." she said softly. "I do not know where else I could go, at least for Aragorn's safety. Elrohir insisted we come here."

"As he should have." Elrond came around from behind his desk, crouching down in front of Gilraen to make himself level with Aragorn. "For you see, here in Imladris the heirlooms of Isildur lie and here too are the heirs of Isildur reared." Elrond smiled, "More often than not, that is."

Gilraen weakly smiled and asked, "Are they truly after my son because…."

Elrond looked up, staring intently into her eyes, "They are indeed. Therefore, for the safety of both you and Aragorn, I ask you to allow us to hide his heritage until it is time."

Gilraen shook her head, "Hide…but…why?"

"Only the Dunedain, one of the wizards and some of the elves know the true line of the kings. They know the name Aragorn is for the next chieftain, but none save your people, the twins, and a very few select know how old Aragorn is, who Aragorn is and who Arathorn's wife was." Elrond answered.

"To hide ourselves would be the safest thing." Gilraen murmured. "To hide his name…I…I do not know what else to call him." Gilraen let out a small laugh as a tear fell down her cheek, "It took us so long to settle on Aragorn." she said as Elrohir continued to distract Aragorn from his mother's own sadness.

Elrond placed a comforting hand over Gilraen's own, "I am sure he will have many names as he grows in this world, as we all do."

Erestor smiled as he remembered some of Elrond's more colorful names, the elf lord giving him an amused look as he spied the smile.

"Surely, you can think of something to call him, at least for now." Elrond said.

Gilraen nodded, "It should be elvish, should it not? As if he has been raised here from the very beginning." Gilraen's thoughts wandered off as she watched Aragorn's face bathed in the sunlight, his light eyes shinning. "Estel." she murmured.

Elrond smiled, "Estel. Hope. It is a good name." Elrond laid a hand atop Aragorn's head and said, "Estel, that is what you should be called." The newly dubbed Estel batted at the hand on his head, causing Elrond to laugh. "Yes, it is a very good name."

* * *

Gilraen wandered the halls, unable to rest as Elrond had told her to do. Elrond had taken her son into his care, promising to personally watch after him so Gilraen could have some time to herself. Gilraen knew she needed the time but not quite yet. She needed to stay strong, to keep the hold over her emotions until her own escort appeared, needing to reassure them all was well in this new realm. She found herself drawn to the library, the warm light and the comforting smell of paper, books, and ink drawing her ever closer. She walked into the room, her eyes scanning the area. No others appeared to occupy the room with the exception of one table which held one of the she-elves she had been briefly introduced to earlier. Elrond had assured her she was one to be trusted, considered family. She had not had time to speak with any of them, but especially not this one, who had taken herself off to speak with Elrohir. The elf was busily writing into a book, her hand quickly flying across the page.

"What do you write?" Gilraen asked the dark haired she-elf, struggling to remember her name.

The elf looked up and graced her with a warm smile, "I write an account of the year, for a friend who is far away."

"Will you write of my son?" Gilraen asked, suspicious.

"I will." she answered. "But it will be veiled. The reader of this though, she will know what it means and will know to keep the secret safe."

"Who is she?" Gilraen asked.

The elf put down her quill, "She is the Lady of this realm, currently in the Blessed Realm."

Gilraen felt the eyes of the elf track her as she walked around the room.

As if sensing Gilraen's fears the she-elf said, "Gilraen, do not fear for your son. Foundlings and fosterings are very common in Imladris, even those of human blood, especially those of your own bloodline."

"So much secrecy and so many people. I do not know if…"

"Estel will know who he once was and who he is meant to be by his majority. Hopefully members of this house can keep such a secret for that span of years. Though, I would advise you not to speak secretive things around one of our painters, Crabanon. He has a loose tongue to say the least." The elf warned her.

Gilraen nodded, letting her fingers trail over a shelf of books, "Ara…Estel will learn much here, in lore at least."

"And craft and war craft and music…." the elf laughed, "he will have much to learn here."

"I wonder," Gilraen said as she sat down across from the elf, "will my son learn love here? What of respect and tolerance? Will he grow to be accepted among your kind or will he become ashamed of his race?"

The elf studied her for a moment and then said in a voice full of conviction, "He will know love, respect, and tolerance from us all. While even I admit there are many elves who look down on non-elves, and even elves not of their own kind, such elves will not be around Estel. Those who surround him will accept him as he is."

"Even without a father? Almost without a family?"

The elf smiled, a softness coming to her face, "He has a family. He has you, and now he will have us."

"How can you be so certain?" Gilraen asked. "How can you know?"

"I know quite well." The she-elf smiled. "For I have been raised in Imladris as an orphan since my birth."

Gilraen felt taken aback for a moment, "Are your parents…"

A dark look passed over her face, "My mother brought me into this world and then my parents left to sail. They had no desire to raise another child and so I was left here. It was indeed far from a traditional decision, but I cannot fault them the decision to have me raised in such a place, for I have found all I have ever desired here."

Gilraen, noting the elf did not wish to dwell on her own history said, "Elladan and Elrohir have always been quite open to us, welcoming us into their own."

"They care deeply for your people, they always have. Their parents have taught them many things, compassion for others probably the best. Arwen is the same way." The elf said.

"Arwen?" Gilraen asked, having only heard the name in passing.

"Lord Elrond's daughter, she is visiting her mother's realm at the moment. I am sure you will meet her one day." The elf stood up, "Now, if you will please pardon my sudden leave, I must get back to my work."

"Is this not…"

The elf smiled again, "No, I fear, this was my break."

"Break?" Gilraen asked as she eyes the large book the elf had been writing in.

The elf extended her pale hand, "I am Morwen, one of the councilors. If you are in need of anything, please do not hesitate to seek me out."

Gilraen gratefully took her hand, "Thank you."

"It is the least I can do." The elf studied her, "You should go rest now, Gilraen. Your escort will arrive soon, but we can sort them out. You need to rest, you have earned it."

The elf then turned and slowly left the room, giving a warm greeting to another elf. Gilraen strained to see who it was, spotting Glorfindel. Gilraen watched their interaction, smiling at the slight and soft touches, an obvious sign of a deep and intimate relationship. While saddened by the sight and knowing she would never experience such a thing Gilraen took a deep breath and sat with her eyes closed, letting the peace of the library calm her own soul. If she felt the tears running down her face she did not acknowledge them.

* * *

Gilraen's small escort had arrived three days earlier and despite the new arrivals, Imladris had already accepted them into their fold and was going on with business as usual. Business of course, meaning a councilor was being sent off to another realm. This time it was Eluialeth, charged with going to the Havens while Morwen stayed behind. Morwen and Eluialeth had gathered outside to discuss the meeting, both enjoying the lovely day while Tirnion listened to them, eager to offer any bit of support he could.

"I can escort you." Tirnion said, his voice eager.

"You cannot, you are to rest." Eluialeth told him.

"I have been resting." Tirnion muttered as he rested against the tree, basking in the warmth of nature and life.

"And restoring your spirit." Morwen said. "I know you are feeling lazy but Tirnion, you need the rest, you must already feel the strength returning to your spirit."

Tirnion shrugged, unable to admit the two females were correct.

"I do not think you should lead the escort, but I will ask Glorfindel if you can be part of the escort." Morwen stated as she stood up.

"Truly?" Tirnion asked.

Morwen nodded as she turned to leave.

Eluialeth watched her go, knowing Tirnion's part in the escort would be as a guest and not as a warrior. She smiled to herself, ignoring the curious look of Tirnion.

"Do you not think she will be able to persuade Glorfindel to bend to her will?" Tirnion asked.

"Hardly." Eluialeth said. "There are very few things Glorfindel will not do for Morwen if she simply asks, even if he does not like it."

"Why is she not going to the Havens?" Tirnion asked, having wondered such a thing since the meeting was announced.

"Elladan is to return within the week and is to stay in Imladris for some time. Morwen does not wish to leave while he is here, both to watch after him and to take on Rian's duties while Elladan is home."

Tirnion nodded, "The support network you have established here is quite remarkable."

"It extends to you as well." Eluialeth said as she pulled her hair back, the wind desiring to break it free from its constraining plait. "You merely need to take advantage of it, since we have all grown tired of trying to extend it to you on our own."

"I feel….useless."

"Tirnion, we both know you will soon have more work than ever and little chance to enjoy the simplicity of life, enjoy it while you are able." Eluialeth ordered.

"Yes, junior councilor Eluialeth." Tirnion dutifully replied.

Eluialeth shook her head at him laughing softly, "Let us go for a ride, perhaps you will feel less useless then."

Tirnion stood up and offered his arm to Eluialeth, "I happen to believe that is one of your best ideas yet."

The two wandered off, unaware of the watchful gaze of Erestor over them both. Erestor nodded, seeing something of which he approved and then moved back inside, getting back to his own work.

* * *

Elrohir smiled as his father walked into the room, guiding the newly dubbed Estel inside.

"Gilraen is finally resting." Elrond said. "Estel, however, is full of energy. I wondered if you so desired to take him on a tour of our home."

Elrohir eagerly sat up, "It would be my pleasure." Elrohir walked over to Estel, crouching down to his own size, "Would you like to see more of my home?" he asked.

Estel nodded, "Yes, it is so big and bright."

"You have my father to thank for that." Elrohir said as he gestured to his father.

Estel turned wide eyes to Elrond, "You made the house?"

Elrond laughed, as he also crouched down to Estel's size, unmindful of his heavy robes dragging against the floor, "Well, I had the help of many." Elrond placed a soft hand on Estel's head, "Estel, would you protest if I joined you and Elrohir on this tour?"

Estel vigorously shook his head, his whole body almost giving the answer, "No."

Elrohir smiled, feeling a little of his grief fading in the face of so much life in the small form of Estel, "Well then, let us go."

* * *

Glorfindel smiled as he walked into his office, spotting Morwen sitting on the windowsill.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you during your normal working hours?" he asked.

Morwen smiled, "You often see me during my normal working hours."

Glorfindel closed the door to the office and walked over to her, "I would never see you if I did not. You are often working."

"Oh, I wonder how such a habit became ingrained in my thinking." Morwen murmured.

"Honestly, I do not know how you have learned such a thing." Glorfindel playfully pulled Morwen into his arms. "Though, I know that conniving look in your eye."

"I suppose after all these years you have learned when I try to influence your decisions." Morwen said.

Glorfindel nodded, "You have been manipulating me into such things since you were a child."

"Well, you were always more suspicious of Elladan and Elrohir rather than myself."

"Erestor taught you, even then, when to mask your smiles of triumph. The twins did not learn that for some time." Glorfindel said.

Morwen nodded her agreement as she settled back into Glorfindel's arms. "Tirnion wishes to take part in Eluialeth's escort."

"He has been here a mere month and already he wishes to ride out."

"You know how difficult it can be to pull yourself away from your duties. I heard you had to be forcibly held back in LothLorien from going out on a patrol."

Glorfindel narrowed his eyes, "Who told you……oh, I knew I should not have let Balanauth lead your last escort."

"He did not enjoy having to lead it. He has been quite taken with that new councilor from Mirkwood." Morwen said.

"We both know the escort duty takes precedent over personal visits." Glorfindel said.

"Unless it is a personal visit of the family." Morwen muttered.

"Well, yes, of course. What do you wish me to tell Tirnion?" Glorfindel asked.

"Let Tirnion ride in the escort." Morwen said.

"Truly?" Glorfindel asked.

"Yes. Let him go, he has not visited the Havens and Galdor would be happy to have a new guest. It will be good for him to see the coast and rest there."

"Do you not worry about the call of the sea?" Glorfindel asked, mindful of Tirnion's woodland heritage.

"No, not in Tirnion. The Blessed Realm does not hold anything for him, his will is too tied to this realm."

"Merileth is there." Glorfindel stated.

Morwen laughed, "Yes, she is and she is far from a pull to him. I fear her presence may keep him far from there."

"Yes, I still do not believe my dear Merileth realized just how truly she hurt him." Glorfindel said.

"She took him for granted, I feel no sympathy for her and what she brought upon herself."

Glorfindel raised a brow in surprise, "That is quite cold."

"But it is quite true." Morwen stated. "Will you let Tirnion go as I have suggested?" she asked.

"Oh, was that a suggestion? I detected the slight bit of demand in it." Glorfindel teased. "It will be good for him to see a part of Arda he never has before. I wish I could be there to see his face when they pass by the Halfling settlements."

Morwen chuckled, "I am sure Eluialeth will tell us the event in great detail." She kissed the hand of Glorfindel covering up her own, "thank you." she murmured.

"I would have asked for your suggestions on the matter either way, I was debating what to do about him, for I do not think he is ready to ride out on a true patrol. He still has his own healing to do. Speaking of…" Glorfindel placed a hand lightly over the spot of Morwen's last injury, "how is it healing?"

"The itch has faded much to my relief and that of Elrond."

"Good." Glorfindel stated.

Morwen smirked, "I still cannot fathom why you insisted on cutting that tree down."

"It was hazardous, we could not risk it harming another. Besides, it has made a very nice desk."

"For your inner-house office, one you rarely use."

" 'Tis better to be a misused desk than firewood." Glorfindel sated, feeling no sympathy for the tree.

Morwen blinked at Glorfindel's statement, giving him an incredulous look. "I have obviously spent far too much time with an idle mind, for that sounded sensible and wise."

Glorfindel kissed Morwen's brow, "Perhaps." He held her tightly for a brief moment, "let us both attend to out duties. Perhaps we can finish early."

"Is that a suggestion or a demand?" Morwen asked as she pulled herself from his arms, making her way to the door.

"Demand." Glorfindel stated simply, laughing as Morwen rolled her eyes at him, a gesture she had not resorted to in many years.

* * *

Elladan rode into Imladris, grateful to see his home and to be off the road. It had been many years since he had traveled without his twin and there was little fun in traveling on his own. The risk, of course, was also greater but he would not have taken one of the Rangers away from their people.

He was surprised when Morwen rode up to greet him. Her eyes were sparkling, "You tried to sneak in on us all."

Elladan smiled tiredly, "I did not know if I could handle all the concern and comfort. I just wish to rest."

"As you shall. Glorfindel was warned of your arrival and through our lovely network of information I was informed. Your father has already arranged for your entrance to be as hidden as possible. I fear you will have to climb to get inside. Give me your horse and your pack." Morwen said.

"Will it not look suspicious, you coming in with another horse and a pack?" Elladan asked.

"Tirnion is waiting for us and you can be surprised what a she-elf's dress can hide." Morwen said.

Elladan nodded as he and Morwen dismounted at the same time. Morwen studied him for a moment and then pulled him into a tight embrace, his breath whooshing out.

"I have missed you." Morwen murmured. "But there are those who have missed you even more."

Elladan smirked, "Are you subtly suggesting I hurry off?"

"Of course." Morwen said. She held Elladan's hands in her own, "When you are ready, I will be here."

Elladan placed a chaste kiss on her forehead, "And I thank you. I will seek you out when I can. Any news before I head in?"

"Tirnion is in residence, though you have been informed of that. Arwen will not be returning, for she has extended her stay with your grandparents. Estel and Gilraen have settled in, still a little uneasy but I am sure your presence will help to ease their own minds. Rest now, find peace and comfort in the arms you are now meant to. Then go to your father, he will know how to aid you through this."

Elladan nodded and slowly made his way to the house, walking under the cover of the trees. He closed his eyes and walked, his spirit soaring at the sound of the river, the wind in the trees, the laughter. He walked to the tree which overlooked the balcony to his room, a smile coming to his face as he saw his brother waiting for him. Elladan climbed up the tree swiftly and met his brother on the railing.

"I did not expect to see you here." Elladan said.

"Yes, well, Rian was called away for a moment. Perhaps we should pray for the minstrel who pulled her away for there was much anger in Rian's eyes." Elrohir pulled his brother into an embrace. "I will not ask you how you feel, for I know. And I will not ask you how the Dunedain fare, for there will be time for that."

Elladan nodded, "Thank you. You seem to be doing much better."

"I was told by father to find joy in our new inhabitants, in being able to witness the magic of Imladris discovered through new eyes. I fear what all have said for years is true, our father may just be slightly wise."

"Indeed." Elladan laughed. He pressed a hand to Elrohir's face, "You have not rested."

"I cannot, not yet. I will try again tonight and if I am not successful…"

"You will ask father for a draught, as you should." Elladan said.

Elrohir nodded, "I fear it may come to that."

Both twins turned to the door as they heard the knob turn. Elladan felt a smile form on his face at the sight of Rian, residual annoyance in her face as she attempted to become a calming presence for him.

Elrohir nodded at her and then turned to Elladan, "I will be in father's study if you need me." Elrohir walked out of the room, patting Rian on the shoulder as he walked out.

Elladan and Rian stood in front of each other, both studying the missed form of the other, taking in the small changes, the slowly settling weariness in their eyes. Silently they both made their way forward, their fingertips reaching out to touch first, their hair intermingling, fiery gold entwined with dark brown, before their bodies fit against each other. They needed this, this reassurance, this strength, this true proof of life.

Elladan had kissed Rian many times before, had kissed his fair share of she-elves in his life. But never had a kiss made him feel so secure. Never had a kiss made him feel enveloped in comfort and never had a kiss made him feel like this, as if he was truly home.

* * *

Glorfindel looked up from the wood block he was currently whittling at the sound of his door opening. Morwen walked into the room, softly closing the door behind her.

"How is Elladan?" he asked.

"Well enough." Morwen said as she came to rest by Glorfindel's side. "He is now in Rian's care. Elrohir is the one I worry for."

Glorfindel nodded in agreement, "Where is he now?"

"He asked his father for a sleeping draught. Elrond and I stayed with him until he drifted off." Morwen said.

"Arwen should be here." Glorfindel murmured.

"It is better for her to be in the Golden Wood at this time of year." Morwen said, mindful of the time and how it often brought memory of Celebrian's attack.

" 'This time of year' is said to be lasting for quite sometime." Glorfindel said.

"She is old enough to spend a good portion of her time in another realm, Glorfindel."

"I know." he sighed as he put aside the figure he was cutting out. "Elrond just prefers it when she is close to home, close to him."

"He is her father, of course she prefers him close. Arwen has the right, however, to dwell in her mother's realm and to be among her grandparents and friends there. She has few duties here that are not now taken over by Faeleth or one of the other ladies of the court. Times are changing, our ways are not so elaborate anymore."

Glorfindel smiled at her, "That is not something you need to tell me; I am well aware of the change."

Morwen nodded not bothering to form a verbal answer. She curled ever closer to Glorfindel's side, burying her head into his shoulder.

"Morwen?" Glorfindel asked, concerned at her behavior. "You have not attempted to hide yourself in my side since you were quite small."

Glorfindel felt the puff of a silent laugh against his neck, "I feel quite small now. So much grief and pain and nothing I can do about any of it."

"Yet another lesson your learn as you go on in this world."

"Please do not play the 'you are so young' bit now. I am quite tired Glorfindel and I will not be held accountable for whatever I say in response." Morwen mumbled.

Glorfindel moved his face closer to her, softly laughing as Morwen made a discontent sound, being dislodged from her hiding place. "Even some elder elves have yet to learn such a lesson. They are far too content with the security and the ignorance they have lived in for so long. That ignorance and their own arrogance has not yet taught them how insignificant they are in the grander scheme."

Morwen looked up at him, reaching out a finger to trace across his brow, "If you do not watch yourself, you may soon be called one of the true wise."

"Alas, I think my presence at the council already says such about me." Glorfindel said.

"Oh no, that is simply because of your overwhelming presence." Morwen stated.

"Overwhelming, you say?" Glorfindel asked.

"Our newest residents say. Quite a few are intimidated by your person. Gilraen, luckily, has already learned to disregard your supposed greatness." Morwen said.

Glorfindel laughed heartedly at Morwen's words, "Why do I torture myself so with one who is not impressed by my illustrious past?"

"You would become quite bored if I was anything but unimpressed with your past. Such simpering females are not for you." Morwen insisted.

"An elf likes to be thought of as great, a legend even, a true hero." Glorfindel said.

Morwen smirked, "You are all of those things, but not for the stories of your past, the legends so far removed from the truth of the matter. You are great for all you do in the name of the security of us all, even lowering yourself to be led under another's hand, despite your normal protestations otherwise. You are a legend for your compassion and kindness to others and well.." Morwen trailed off, "..I did truly find you a hero when I was a child. That was however, more for getting my cats out of Elladan's ill-meaning hands and for always finding plausible excuses for why I could not attend the sessions of the sewing circle."

Glorfindel smiled down on Morwen, "Well," he started as he leaned down to kiss her lips, "I suppose I can find peace with that."

* * *

The winter was upon them, Imladris blanketed in a soft snow. Tirnion and Eluialeth were due to return within the week and Elladan and Elrohir were already preparing Estel for the return, teaching the very young child the finer arts of a snow battle.

Gilraen laughed as she watched her son throw a handful of powdery snow in Elladan's face, the elf acting as if the throw was so powerful it knocked him over. She looked over to Glorfindel, "Did they learn this overwhelming love of battle strategy in all things from you?"

Glorfindel laughed, "Oh, no, I had nothing to do with this, I was never foolish enough to teach young elves about snow fights. In fact," Glorfindel smiled as his mind wandered to a far off memory, "I was usually the intended target."

Morwen broke in, "Erestor was the one who taught us to apply strategy to snow fights."

"Erestor?" Gilraen asked as she tried to imagine the often stoic chief councilor doing such a thing.

"Oh yes, Erestor takes snow battles quite serious." Faeleth said. "I fear it is something my husband has been involved with for many years. It is, more often than not, the only respite he experiences during the planning of the Mid-Winter Festival. Though he does not take kindly to others throwing snow at him."

The group watched as Erestor came out, his hair pulled away from his face, dressed in pants and a tunic, quite unlike his normal self. Gilraen took in a breath, surprised at seeing Erestor looking so common and yet so stunning.

Faeleth smirked, "And they often ask me why I set my heart on such an unpleasant elf."

Rian and Morwen scoffed at her words while Glorfindel hid his own smile.

Gilraen found herself smiling, an action not so uncommon in the months she had spent in Imladris. As she watched her son squeal in delight as Elrohir tackled Elladan causing the snow to fly and to spray onto Erestor she found herself doing something she had not done since her husband's death. Gilraen laughed, truly laughed and even as broken as she sometimes felt, something in her began to heal.

* * *

A/N 1: There will still be a bit of delay in each posting since the mattness is still here, and really, he deserves a thanks for letting me semi-ignore him while I type this. Of course he is ignoring me as he reads my books, so, really, our mutual ignoration should be thanked.

A/N 2: The Thanks.

**Renna**, I'm glad you are enjoying it so far, and thank you for the review and the compliments, as always, they really do warm my little heart. I am not slacking off, I promise, a little bit for each chapter is being written while I get the chance.

**Siegle**, you cannot tell, but I am waving hello to you right now. Thanks for the review and I'm glad to know you like the first chapter.

**Nima**, thank you! And no, we can't escape the ever present fate. I was kind of sad to see Arathorn go, but alas, it had to happen. I also plan to have a lot of fun with Aragorn growing up, especially since in my little world, Elrohir and Elladan have such a direct hand in raising him. And you know, Imladris is supposed to be a refuge and so it will stay that way, at least in my story.


	3. Keeping the Faith

**Disclaimer: Still all Tolkien and co's except for my original characters.**

**Loss and Hope**

_**Chapter Three: Keeping the Faith**_

_You can get just so much_

_From a good thing_

_You can linger too long_

_In your dreams_

_Say goodbye to the_

_Oldies but goodies_

_'Cause the good ole days weren't_

_Always good_

_And tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems_

-Billy Joel, _Keeping the Faith_

* * *

**_Imladris, TA 2934_**

Estel ran back and forth between Elladan and Elrohir, deftly maneuvering through the obstacles the twins put in his path.

"His reflexes are already quite remarkable." Elrohir said.

"Yes, if we train him just a bit more we will have him ready for the spring festival." Elladan said.

"And many merry moments of mischief to be made therein." Tirnion said as he watched over the trio.

"Of course." Elladan answered, moving another stack of books into the path of Estel. He clapped as the young boy quickly jumped over it, never hesitating at the sudden changes in the path.

"How did you convince Gilraen to let you do this?" Tirnion asked, wondering why the lady would let the twins watch her son.

"Oh, Elrohir simply bated those pretty lashes of his." Elladan said with a smirk.

"I simply asked her." Elrohir replied. "She wished to ride out with Glorfindel in order to show her guests around the realm. We do have to hand him over to father soon."

"Healing lessons?" Elladan asked.

"Healing lessons." Elrohir replied.

"Lessons, so soon?" Tirnion asked.

Elrohir nodded, "Father believes it is never too soon to start lessons."

"Yes, well, amongst elves I could understand such a thing but the human's mind does not age as quickly as our own." Tirnion said.

"Ah, yes, but these are Dunedain, they are somewhere in between." Elladan said.

"I am sure Estel will do quite well." Elrohir said. "His attention to detail is quite remarkable at his young age and that is necessary for a healer."

"Clearly explains while Elladan is not so inclined to that field." Tirnion said.

Elladan gave him a dark look, "I could have been a healer, my father even said I had the potential. I just knew it was not for me, I could feel it was not."

"He also does not have the best bedside manner." Elrohir murmured. "I know, surprising considering his personality. Alas, Elladan tends to get cranky with the patients."

"And I have heard he does not handle labors well either." Tirnion said with a smile.

"May I remind you, we all have our weaknesses. Some of us do not excel in hand-to-hand fighting techniques." Elladan said giving Elrohir a look, "and that others of us, while more than very decent in fighting and healing techniques have handwriting on the level of the scratching of chickens."

Tirnion held up a hand in protest, "Yet it is still legible. We cannot all have the beautiful penmanship and artist skills of Elrohir."

"Healing notes need to be quite clear, as do the drawings illustrating wounds and the body, same goes for the battlefield." Elrohir said.

"What?" Estel asked, stopping his game as he noticed his elder friends in a discussion.

Elrohir smiled as he held his hands out for Estel to grab. He stood up and carefully swung the boy around. "Estel, would you like to have your first try at drawing a map before your lessons with father?"

Estel nodded, laughing. Elladan stood up, starting to gather the stacks of books and packs of clothing, sticks and other objects that had been used for the small obstacle course. Tirnion helped him an amused smirk on his face, "Now this," he said to Elladan, "I must see."

"Have you so little faith in my brother?" Elladan asked.

"I have plenty of faith in your brother, I simply have so little faith in a young boy with colored chalks helping to draw a map." Tirnion said.

A wicked smile worked its way onto Elladan's face, "Gilraen will not be happy with us but it will be worth it, to see his smile and that of my father."

Tirnion nodded silently as they followed Elrohir and Estel into the house.

* * *

Morwen sat under a tree with Estel settling into her lap. Gilraen had needed some time to rest, her body still adjusting to the schedule the elves kept, even after a year in Imladris. Morwen was glad to watch Estel for the afternoon, always happy to see his young and intelligent eyes light up as he heard a story. Morwen had found the past year fascinating as she watched Estel grow. He was larger and stronger than the average elfling of the same age, those his mind was not as advanced, it was more advanced than that of a child completely of a human bloodline. It made Morwen wonder how half-elves grew, how Lord Elrond and his brother must have appeared. There was something about Estel, so elven like in appearance and intelligence, yet not so, that had her wonder if he would always be like this, a study in the contradictions and the mixture of their races and bloodlines. Her pondering was interrupted as Estel tugged on her hand and pointed to one of the groves.

"Morwen, what are Rian and Elladan doing?" Estel asked.

Morwen looked up in surprise at the interruption, Estel usually one to sit patiently and eagerly as a story was read to him. She turned her head, looking in the direction Estel was pointing at. The tableau before was one that made her smile but was not, however, something for young eyes. She quickly gathered Estel up in one arm, the book in the other.

"Oh, Estel, they are simply kissing, an action you need not worry about in your young life." Morwen quickly stated.

"But why are they doing that?" Estel asked.

Morwen patted his head, "You are far too young to hear the answer to that question and I have no idea how to answer such a question yet, therefore, we will both pretend we did not see such a thing."

Estel smiled, "Saw what thing?"

Morwen nodded, "I see Elrohir already had your trained quite well. Good elf."

* * *

It was the time of the day when most elves gathered for a break from duty and the time Morwen had been looking forward to since Estel had made his discovering earlier in the day. They had their rituals, and one was to gather in the office of Morwen, Rian, and Eluialeth to share this break in the day. There were times however, like today, when Glorfindel would invite himself to their gatherings. Currently he was settled on one of the window seats, Morwen leaning on his chest, as he went through reports not taking the traditional break in the day but a break from being behind the desk nonetheless. Morwen chose to ignore his need to stay to his work and gestured to Elladan and Rian, cuddled up together on one of the couches.

"Estel spied you two sharing quite an embrace today." Morwen said as she reached a hand out to snag one of the apples on the snack tray, settling back against Glorfindel with her new fruit.

Glorfindel, unmindful of the action kept reading his reports, "Oh dear, was it Arador all over again?" he asked.

"I think Estel is far too young to have set his heart on Rian." Eluialeth said.

"The greater question," Elrohir said, "is why they were sharing such an embrace in the open."

Rian was looking off to the side while Elladan, though blushing, raised a challenging eyebrow at his brother. "My dear twin, perhaps we shall talk of the embraces of the past, perhaps we should tell of your first kiss."

Elrohir's eyes widened and Morwen began to choke on her apple, the noise finally pulling Glorfindel from his reports.

"Well, if those were not incriminating actions I do not know what are." Glorfindel said. He pulled Morwen's head back "Must I defend my position in your life?" Glorfindel asked.

"No, not at all. It was a single day, long ago, when we were quite young." Morwen said, her eyes indeed wavering under Glorfindel's intense gaze.

"Quite." Elrohir assured. "Not even yet at our majorities…." Elrohir trailed off as Glorfindel gave him a dark look. "It was only once, Glorfindel." Elrohir said.

"He means one day," Elladan said, "it was not simply one kiss."

Morwen and Elrohir both looked at Elladan as if he had lost all sense though before they could say anything Rian interrupted, "But Elladan, I thought Morwen was _your_ first kiss."

Morwen closed her eyes, not wishing to see Glorfindel's face. Elrohir however was suddenly smiling, "Now, that was one simple kiss. All because Elladan was so jealous because we had both done something he had not."

"And of course Elladan could not let Elrohir do something with Morwen he had not." Tirnion said.

"I do not think Imladris has ever seen so awkward a kiss as that. If there was any one incident which proved you two were meant to be nothing but very good friends that was it." Elrohir said.

Elladan nodded vigorously as Morwen shuddered in horror.

Glorfindel narrowed his eyes at her, "Well then, Tirnion, perhaps you should step up since it appears you are the only male in this room not yet kissed by Morwen."

"Oh, of course I have been. Though, it was nothing more than a chaste…" Tirnion stopped at the murderous look Morwen was giving him.

"Please, do not taunt him." Eluialeth said. "For all of our sakes."

Morwen looked at Glorfindel, "I suggest you move away from this line of inquiry before I share the incident which introduced me to…" Glorfindel placed a hand over Morwen's mouth before she could finish the statement. Though Elladan snickered as he remembered the incident, the incident which forever banned Glorfindel from seducing she-elves within the library, no matter how late it may be. Elladan still did not know who was more livid that night, Morwen, Erestor, or the she-elf who lost her chance with Glorfindel due to an enraged young elf and an equally enraged chief councilor.

"Yes," Rian said, "let us not speak of that event, for I can still hear the yells of that night."

Elrohir put down his latest drawing, "Yes, Morwen, who ever knew you could sound so shrill and indignant."

Morwen simply gave a bored sniff, "I do not like such things done near my work station, especially when they cause my carefully organized notes to be scattered."

"I have apologized profusely for that event." Glorfindel said.

Tirnion and Eluialeth exchanged a look, Tirnion nodding as he sat back. Eluialeth spoke up, "You might as well tell us now, we have enough information to simply guess."

Glorfindel sighed and leaned back, "Let me tell it, for I fear Morwen has a large amount of bias in regards to the events."

"Can you even remember the true events from that night, you were obviously not conscious of your surroundings." Morwen gritted out.

Glorfindel sighed, "Fine, you tell the tale."

"Gladly." Morwen sat up straighter, and though her face appeared grim there was a smile in her eyes as Glorfindel ran a comforting hand over her back, listening as she told of the events of the night only months after her majority which had hurt so dearly at the time and yet now could be looked back on with amusement.

* * *

The summer was quickly approaching, bringing warm breezes and humidity in the air with it. Galdor had seemed to come with the summer sun, his arrival in Imladris triggering an apparent wave of warm days as the members of the realm, especially the human residents, took to swimming in the river or the ponds, relaxing by the waterfalls or doing anything possible to take the sting of the heat away from their bodies.

With the summer came the worry for young Estel, who appeared to one party of Imladris as old enough to learn how to swim in such places as long as he was supervised at all times while another party adamantly opposed said idea. Unfortunately for Estel, both parties were adamant on having their side of the argument heard.

"He is too young." Gilraen insisted.

"No he's not." Elrohir said.

"Yes he is." Five female voices insisted, clearly overruling the males in the room. The group of males leaned back as they were collectively glared at by Faeleth, Morwen, Rian, Eluialeth, and most importantly, Gilraen.

Erestor sat back and sighed. He turned to Elrond, "You are the Lord of Imladris, I am its chief councilor, Glorfindel is an elf of amazing influence, the twins are lords in training, Tirnion is a seneschal of his realm and Galdor is one of the chief councilors of the Havens and yet we are all under the thumbs of the various females in our lives."

Faeleth shook her head, "You are all pathetic yet intelligent elves. If you wish to teach Estel to swim do so in the large guest baths, but do not risk a chance with the Bruinen."

"Faeleth it is more noisy than difficult to swim in." Elrond said.

"Maybe for a grown elf. Start off small, let him build up his skill and then take him to the Bruinen, once he is strong enough to not be blown over by a swift wind." Faeleth said.

"He would not be blown over." Glorfindel protested.

"He went toppling into Gilraen's legs the other day when a brisk wind went flying by." Morwen said in a dry tone.

"Fine." Elladan sighed. "The guests baths it is, though we never received such a luxury."

"That is because those fools," Faeleth said gesturing to the elder triumvirate, "waited until your mother was distracted with the ladies of the court before they smuggled you out of the house and to the river. I do not know if Celebrian ever learned of your secretive swimming lessons but I assure you, if she had while they were going on, well, I think your father would still be feeling his punishment."

"Indeed." Elrond agreed, grimacing as he remembered just how cold Celebrian's voice had become when she learned of the twin's swimming lessons, a mere slip of the tongue revealing the truth when discussing Arwen's own lessons.

"So we are agreed, Estel can start swimming lessons in the guest baths." Gilraen decreed, all else nodding their approval. "Good, Elladan, Elrohir since this was your idea, I believe you can sacrifice the dry state of your clothing for the greater good of all."

The twins nodded and moved to leave the room, going to collect Estel from Lindir.

"Will every decision be like this?" Gilraen asked.

Elrond nodded, "Most likely, it is how it has always been done. You are his mother though, you have the final say."

"If you wonder why we form a council for such things, well, it is always helpful to get many opinions." Erestor said.

"And the experiences of others. Rian, for example, shies away from the water due to her traumatic experiences." Faeleth said.

"The twins threw me into the Bruinen thinking I already knew how to swim. I am sad to say, they were quite mistaken." Rian muttered.

Morwen placed a soft hand on Gilraen's shoulder, "Sadly, Gilraen, you are surrounded by many scholars and councilors who must weigh all options before making a final decision."

"And soldiers who do the same." Glorfindel said.

Gilraen sighed, "At least life in Imladris will always be entertaining."

* * *

Rian watched as Elrohir dropped himself down into the large public guest baths, more like a large indoor pond with steps and benches to sit on. Many had taken to watching these lessons of Estel's, though they had been ordered by Elrond to give the young boy his space and not to make him aware of all the eyes taking him in. Elrohir was often the teacher in these lessons, finding himself more able to withstand Estel's enthusiastic splashing than Elladan who normally found himself coughing up water. Today found Elladan holding up the ever wriggling Estel as his brother prepared himself for handling the young boy.

Thandrog came into the area, "Elladan, Glorfindel needs you to lead a patrol."

Elladan put Estel down onto the floor, keeping his hand on Estel's head holding him in place, and turned to his friend, "Why can you not lead it?"

"Because it is a patrol going out to meet the Rangers and Elrohir has already been slated to teach a group of new soldiers on healing techniques for the battlefield."

Elladan turned to look at his twin, narrowing his eyes as Elrohir stopped trying to coax Estel to him. "You did not tell me you were leading a session." Elladan said.

"You have been quite….busy lately." Elrohir said, though there was no malice in his voice. "I simply needed something to consume all my free time, as did Tirnion, and so we both decided more of our warriors could use healing training, beyond the basics they learn before Glorfindel lets them out."

Elladan nodded, conceding the point to his brother, he gave a smile to Rian before turning back to Thandrog, "Then I guess I will…." Elladan stopped as he was suddenly splashed with water, from his head to his feet, his once warm clothes suddenly sopping wet. He turned back to his twin, who was obviously biting back laughter as Estel looked up at Elladan with an innocent face.

Rian chuckled while Thandrog looked in the other direction.

"I….I will tell Glorfindel you'll be a moment." Thandrog said before hurrying out of the room, a hand over his mouth to cover up his laughter.

Elladan gave Thandrog a nod before turning back to Rian, Elrohir and Estel, "Not a word." he stated before he walked off, leaving a trail of water behind him.

Going out into the main house he stopped as Morwen walked into his path. She gave him a look before glancing at the windows, taking in the sunny weather. "Elladan?" she asked.

"You would be surprised how much water a small boy can produce when jumping into the guest baths."

"Were you watching him at the time?" Morwen asked.

"No, I was distracted." Elladan said.

Morwen patted him on the arm and then stopped, shaking the water off her hand. "You of all people should know never to take your eyes off a young child. You also proved the splashes always seem to be greater when one is not watching."

"Indeed." Elladan stated as he grabbed up his wet hair, "If you will excuse me, I must change before I go on patrol."

Morwen watched him go, sliding and squeaking the entire way.

* * *

Elrond stopped his work as he heard the laughter in the halls. It had been so long since he had heard such a thing and despite the mounds of work he had to go through, he stopped to revel in the sound. There was something so powerful and healing in it and it was a sound he deeply missed and one reason why he often enjoyed traveling to human settlements. Elflings were so rare these days.

"Reminiscing on days of old?" Erestor asked as he came in through the secret door, connecting Glorfindel and Erestor's inner-house offices to his own.

"Just remembering the fond times when you could not go anywhere without tumbling over an elfling." Elrond said.

Erestor nodded, "Or finding one hidden under a desk, in a wardrobe, under a table or a chair, above a doorway balancing on the banisters…"

"Elladan only did that twice." Elrond defended his eldest.

"As far as we know." Erestor said.

"Yes, well, you were the one who essentially kidnapped Morwen from the nursery and read story after story to her while we frantically searched the house."

"The sounds of the stories soothed her young mind." Erestor said.

"We could not find her for five hours." Elrond said.

"If you had simply come to me, rather than fearing my reaction over the supposed loss of one of my favorite elflings, the problem would have been resolved quite quickly." Erestor said.

Elrond laughed, "Thank the Valar for Arwen, she caused few problems."

Erestor snorted, "I have a feeling she is merely waiting for us to become completely complacent before she surprises us. To be fair, there was also only one of her while there were, at one time, four of the others, not to mention the new elflings born into the court and into the families of the rest of the realm."

"Quite a hectic time." Elrond agreed. "And now we only have one."

"Oh, I would not say such a thing. Elladan and Elrohir appear to be reverting back to their younger selves in order to teach him." Erestor said.

Elrond stood up, moving to stand outside on the balcony. "I am well aware and therefore am so thankful. Arathorn's death, it was far too soon but the consequences of it, bringing Estel and Gilraen here, it has restored something in both of my sons." Elrond smiled as he saw Estel run outside, chasing after Elladan who was clearly walking slowly, "Something I feared would never be returned to them."

"The ever fading light of the innocent." Erestor murmured. "Galueth still has it in her eyes. Eluialeth though, it has been gone for some time."

"Tirnion helps." Elrond said, having noticed the same thing in Eluialeth's eyes.

"I think he makes her feel safe." Erestor said.

"I can understand why, as I am sure you can." Elrond stated.

Erestor nodded, "His position as the seneschal of a realm constantly under siege appeals to the rational side of her mind stating that if any of our younger generation could protect her, it is he for he has seen even more than the twins."

"And more. While I understand Mithrandir's reasoning, I do still wish he never had them patrol so near to Dol Guldur." Elrond said.

"Having spoken with Tirnion, he would prefer that patrol to having to venture into the nests of those spiders."

Elrond nodded, "Almost certain death or almost certain death, how does one choose?"

"More, how would you like that almost certain death. Quick and relatively painless or long and slow." Glorfindel said from the doorway.

"Are you not supposed to be teaching somebody something somewhere?" Erestor asked.

"Oh, I felt you two brooding from all the way in the barracks and decided to join the fun. We have not had a good group brood in some time." Glorfindel bumped into Erestor's side as he walked by him.

"We have had little to brood about." Elrond said.

"We have had plenty to brood about, we have simply ignored it in the place of other things. Though," Glorfindel said with a smile as he leaned on the railing looking down on the game of tag taking place below them, "it was with very good reason."

"Have you heard anything?" Elrond asked.

"Nothing confirmed, rumors and whispers as usual, but it seems oddly peaceful, all things considered." Glorfindel said.

"Which means something is about to happen." Erestor said.

"As per usual." Elrond said. He stared out over the valley and started to laugh.

"Elrond?" Erestor asked.

"Nothing." Elrond said as he shook his head. "I was simply thinking about how many times we have done this, the three of us, standing at this balcony…."

"or what once was the skeleton of this balcony…" Erestor muttered remembering the building of Imladris.

"and looked out over the valley speaking in calm and amused tones of impending doom." Elrond said.

"A few thousands years of blood and darkness, death and dark lords will do that to an elf." Glorfindel said.

"Have we really become so cynical…..so…." Elrond trailed off.

"Old?" Erestor asked.

Glorfindel laughed, hopping over the banister as he made his way to one of the nearby trees, "I certainly have not. I still delight in the joy of a new day and now, I feel like a game of tag."

Elrond and Erestor watched him go, silently stalking the twins while gesturing for Estel to be quiet.

"I would join him," Erestor said, "but unlike our ever-ready-for-battle friend robes and tree branches rarely mix well."

"And I truly have no desire to patch you up nor take the punishment from Faeleth in the face of such an accident. I think a simple walk would be best." Elrond said.

"Indeed."

Elrond and Erestor made their way out of the room, heading for the gardens. They were only stopped once, by Tirnion of all elves.

"Where are you going off to so hurriedly?" Tirnion asked, wondering if he would get a chance to offer his expert assistance.

"To join in on a game of tag." Elrond said.

"Glorfindel must be caught and I fear the twins will not be able to catch him, even with their combined forces." Erestor said, as he walked by Tirnion, Elrond following in his wake.

Tirnion watched them go, confusion on his face. He jumped as Morwen laid a hand on his shoulder, "You look lost." she said.

Tirnion nodded, "I fear your elders may be slightly insane."

"Why?"

Tirnion shook his head, "no reason."

Morwen shrugged and continued on her way, leaving Tirnion to his thoughts.

* * *

Estel sat propped up on many pillows as he watched the others eat their midday meal. Before the presence of Gilraen and Estel in Imladris, this meal was often ignored for more pressing matters, but knowing humans and specifically small boys needed to eat, Elrond had decreed all able members would partake in the meal.

Gilraen lightly guided Estel's movement, letting him learn more through imitation of the elves than through explicit direction. Though, having witnessed some of Morwen and Elladan's more colorful mealtime manners, she sometimes doubted that decision. Gilraen let her eyes drift around the table, at her new adopted family that had taken her into their close-knit fold over this past year. The head of the table was occupied by Elrond, looking as he often did when he was simply among family and friends, in an ornate shirt and leggings, his heavy robes of office left for more official guests. He was flanked by Erestor on one side and Glorfindel on the other, both leaning over Elrond to debate some matter. Elrohir and Tirnion, who Gilraen learned was not a normal resident of the realm, but one of the woodland elves, were debating the virtues of what salves to use in the aftercare of battle wounds. Elladan and Rian were having what appeared to be a polite conversation but was obviously one filled with hidden meaning. Gilraen remembered Arathorn telling her such things had to be done for the sake of protection. The other guests at the table, Morwen, Eluialeth, and Galdor of the Havens were trading information, all concerned with their duties as councilors.

Despite the fact she was worried about something of the lesser respectable things Estel could learn at this table, she was equally proud of what he could learn here. There was, as Morwen had once assured her, a good deal of tolerance here. And warmth. And laughter. And stories and friendship and intelligence. Healing songs and soft voices, debates on trade with debates on warpaths, gossiping painters and musicians who never spoke unless they were singing. There was light and learning, yet a caution to it all, an acknowledgement of what had once been and what was to come. Most importantly however, there was love, and even as she saw Estel blossoming under the care and attention and love lavished all over him, she could feel it covering her as well. She would never feel completely comfortable here, always aware of who and what she had left behind but Estel, even at this young age, had already found his home. Gilraen placed a soft kiss on top of his head before leaning forward to join in on one of the many conversations, her words always welcome here.

* * *

A/N 1: For those who read the "Once I Was" story (pre-Lullaby of Love story, very pre), a second short story to that has been posted on the lj. Also, for anyone wondering why I keep using Billy Joel songs, well, that will be revealed at the end of this story, but there is a reason.

Thanks:

**Sielge**, thank you for the review and saying I write well. Really put a big smile on my face. I do try to make the stories enjoyable, so I hope you like it!

**Nima**, thank you! It will be easier to work with Estel and the twins as Estel gets older, but I am trying to build the base in here for the obviously close tie they all had. And I know you knew about Imladris being a sanctuary I was merely trying comment on how other people know but tend to forget that….and I swear that made sense.

**Renna**, thank you, as always. As cutesy as little Estel can be, I am silently enjoying what "teenage" Estel might become, though that will probably be in the story that takes place during _The Hobbit_. We'll see, but I hope you enjoyed the little hints of "adventures" above.


	4. Shades of Grey

**Disclaimer: Still not mine, no matter who I bribe. Tolkien and company own it and I only own the original characters who, in fact, really own me.**

**Loss and Hope**

**Chapter Four: Shades of Grey**

_Some things were perfectly clear, seen with the vision of youth_

_No doubts and nothing to fear, I claimed the corner on truth_

_These days it's harder to say I know what I'm fighting for_

_My faith is falling away_

_I'm not that sure anymore_

_-_Billy Joel, _Shades of Grey_

* * *

_**Imladris, TA 2937**_

"We need patients for Estel to practice on." Elrohir said as he barged into Morwen's office.

"I wish I could help you, Elrohir, but as you can see I am far from…OW!" Morwen exclaimed as Elrohir reached out and scratched Morwen's hand with a quill.

Elrohir shrugged, "Father said if we could not find patients, we could make them. Well, within reason." Elrohir grabbed Morwen's good hand and tugged her along.

"So much for the vow you took as a healer." Morwen grumbled as she held her sleeve over her hand, trying not to get blood on the floor.

"I never officially took that vow." Elrohir said.

"You have been vow less all these years?" Morwen asked.

Elrohir smirked as he opened the door to one of the healing rooms, "Quite." he said.

Morwen was hardly surprised to see the other line of elves bearing small and easily treatable injures as Elrohir led Morwen over to sit down between Elladan and Glorfindel before heading over to his father and Estel.

Morwen turned to Elladan, "What'd he do to you?"

Elladan narrowed his eyes, "He dropped a sack full of chain mail on my foot….dropped from a balcony. I think he honestly broke something."

Morwen grimaced and turned to Glorfindel, "And you?"

"Slammed me into a table side." Glorfindel muttered. His gaze fell to her hand, "Did he quill you?"

"He did indeed." Morwen said.

"That appears to be his preferred method in regards to the pages and the councilors." Glorfindel said as he gestured to a line of elves holding one uninjured hand over another injured one.

"Notice Erestor and his family are not among the injured." Elladan grumbled.

"Despite recent actions to the contrary," Morwen mumbled as she cradled her hand, "Elrohir does have some sense."

"Yes, well, get comfortable." Elladan said. "Elrohir placed us all at the end of the line."

Morwen narrowed her eyes and started to glare at Elrohir. "Oh, evil, evil, horrid elf. He knows we won't leave and disappoint Estel." Morwen said.

"I fear Erestor and I have taught him far too well." Glorfindel muttered.

The three very disgruntled elves waited for their turns and soon were the only three left in the room other than the two, clearly insane, healers and their newest minion.

Elrond turned to the young boy, "Now, Estel, Morwen has a cut on her hand by a quill which means…"

"We must first make sure no ink is in the wound." Estel said.

"Yes and then?" Elrohir asked.

"Check to see if it needs to be stitched up?" Estel asked, unsure if the answer was correct or not, understandable, since he was a mere six years on Arda.

"And if it does not?" Elrond asked.

"Clean the wound, apply a healing ointment and bandage it." Estel answered dutifully.

"Very good, Estel." Elrond said, a warm smile on his face.

Morwen turned to Glorfindel, "I am about to be diagnosed by a six-year-old, would it be so disrespectful if I ran out of the room screaming?"

Glorfindel smiled, "Not so much, though it would be cruel leaving poor one-footed Elladan here."

"Indeed." Elladan gritted out, "Can we please check my foot before possible stitching up Morwen or taping up Glorfindel's ribs?"

"Why would we need to tape up Glorfindel's ribs?" Elrond asked.

"Your Eru forsaken offspring shoved me into a table edge." Glorfindel said.

"Oh, that was a creative way to get a rib injury, Elrohir, good job." Elrond said.

Glorfindel just shook his head as Elrond and Estel moved to inspect Elladan's foot and Elrohir made to mend Morwen's wound. Glorfindel was beginning to wonder if they would all survive Estel's upbringing. So far, the future did not look so bright.

* * *

The first warm day of the winter had come, brining many out of their homes to enjoy the day out among the dry fields of Imladris, the crispy breeze being just right to enjoy.

The family and friends of Lord Elrond were gathered in the gardens, relating stories of their family and the House of Elrond to Gilraen, Estel, and even some new tales to Tirnion.

The day had gone well until one subject came to the forefront which few in the house talked about.

Gilraen was the unsuspecting person to bring it up, "You said you chose to cleave to elvenkind, Elrond. Was that just for you and your brother or…"

"The members of my line, many half-elvens among them, have all come to a point when they have made a choice." Elrond answered in a soft tone, not wishing for another argument about the subject to begin.

"But, your children, their mother is a full blooded elf so does that not…" Gilraen tried to understand the intricacies of the half-elven bloodline.

Elrond smiled sadly, "I am sad to say they still must make a choice."

"It is not a thing to worry about at this time." Elladan stated. "We still have a long time to make such a decision."

"Or so we believe." Elrohir said. "One never knows how quickly things may change."

"Yes, Elrohir is different." Elladan said with a cold tone, "For he often finds himself fancying those of mortal kind."

Many chose to look in the other direction as the verbal gauntlet was thrown down. As the years had progressed and Rian and Elladan's relationship also began the path towards a deeper intimacy, the subject of Elrohir's choice had become quite a touchy one between the brothers.

"You do not know of what you speak." Elrohir hissed, his tone clearly telling his twin to hush.

"I can see it, Elrohir, we all can." Elladan stated, taking no heed of his brother's words.

"You cannot see what is not there." Elrohir insisted, his voice tired after having made this same argument many times.

"But it is, Elrohir, even if you refuse to acknowledge it, it is there." Elladan insisted.

"What is there?" Gilraen asked, clearly confused about the dispute between the twins.

"Nothing." Elrohir said. "Nothing at all." He gave a nod to Gilraen and patted Estel on the head, "If you will excuse me, I must go." Elrohir gave his brother a cold glare as he walked off, an equally cold one matching it from Elladan's eyes. Rian shook her head and pulled Elladan up by the hand, taking him away from the scene of the argument.

"I do not understand." Gilraen said.

Elrond held up a hand, "It is nothing to worry about. Elladan simply believes Elrohir is currently in love with a mortal woman here in Imladris and that such a love will influence Elrohir's decision and therefore sunder the two forever. Elladan has been adamant that he will cleave to elvenkind."

"You do not sound so certain." Gilraen said.

Elrond stood up, "Things change and the reasons we once had for making a decision seem pointless after said decision is made. Pardon me." Elrond said as he walked off.

Erestor sighed, standing up to follow his friend as Glorfindel did as well, "Our fear it is time we all went off. I will see you all at the evening meal."

Glorfindel silently followed behind, both ascending the stairs to Elrond's office. Faeleth walked over to Gilraen, "Do not fear, it was nothing you said, just the stubbornness of males and brothers who think they know what is best for each other. Let us go down to the orchards and see if we can find any new life."

Morwen moved to exchange a glance with Eluialeth and Tirnion but the two were already walking off discussing something about acorns and nests and cats. Finding herself alone, she pushed off of the stone bench and made her way inside. She walked the halls, finding few people to talk to and even less duties to perform. With a sigh, she ascended the staircase leading to the personal chambers.

Morwen came to a sudden halt as she walked into her bedroom, surprised at seeing the elf who was laying across her bed in a posture clearly displaying both frustration and depression. She silently waked over to the bed, running a comfort hand through the dark hair.

"Elrohir?" she asked softly.

Elrohir looked up at her, his eyes worried, "I do not like to argue with Elladan."

Morwen sat down and clasped Elrohir's right hand, "He does tend to let his mouth run wild when he is hurt or worried."

"He has already made his decision, did you know that?" Elrohir asked.

Morwen nodded, "Yes, Rian told me. She needed someone to discuss it with."

"I cannot decide now, nowhere near making such a decision and he just assumes he knows what I will choose, what is in my mind." Elrohir said, his tone at one both full of sadness and anger.

"Despite what many others claims to the contrary, you and Elladan are different people. He is simply worried that you will not choose as he does." Morwen said.

"Even if I did, chose mortality, he could survive it. Father did." Elrohir said.

Morwen found herself at a loss for words. She continued to caress his hair as she asked, "Elrohir, are you….."

"More often than not, I feel as if when the time comes I will choose the elf in me but there are other times when I just feel as if going to live in the Blessed Realm would have nothing to offer me, as if my time is here and there is no time for me there." Elrohir whispered.

Morwen traced Elrohir's brow with a fingertip, "Elrohir, do you love her? Do you love Gilraen in a way other than sibling or friendly affection?"

Elrohir sighed as he stared up at the ceiling, "I do not know. I….I do not know what I feel for her. Even if I did love her…."

"She will not let the memory of Arathorn be laid to rest within her own being." Morwen said, still seeing that Gilraen cared deeply for her deceased husband. As young as she may have been when she married, Gilraen had truly loved Arathorn.

"Yes." Elrohir said. "And I would never want Arathorn forgotten." Elrohir let out a breath slowly, "Morwen, I do not know what to do."

Morwen caressed his hair, releasing some tendrils from their braids. She smiled down on him, "Talk to your father." she said.

"Morwen…." Elrohir started.

Morwen looked down on him, her dark eyes alight with some hidden knowledge, "Glorfindel, in his less guarded moments, will sometimes share with me memories of his past, often memories of his past with your father, before there was even an Imladris to speak of. Your father, you should talk to him." Morwen urged.

Elrohir sat up, "Are you saying…."

"I am not saying anything. I simply think it would be better for you to speak of this matter with your father. He would certainly understand better than any other in this realm."

Elrohir nodded and whispered a thank you to Morwen before walking out the room. Morwen watched him go, hoping that at least for Elrohir's sake he would find his way to a possible answer in his father's words. Unable to let herself be idle, she walked to her vanity and pulled out the latest book for Celebrian.

* * *

Having been dismissed immediately from Elrond's study at the appearance of Elrohir, Glorfindel made his way to Morwen's room having been told she had walked in this direction. He silently walked inside, smiling as he saw her propped on her bed, writing to Celebrian as an ink well balanced precariously on the bed.

Glorfindel hugged Morwen from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Another entry to Celebrian?"

Morwen nodded, "I figure even she has to know about the latest tiff between the twins. I am sure it will become a thing of legend."

"Infamy is more like it." Glorfindel said as he settled himself behind Morwen. "All those cold words and harsh glares are more painful than if they actually came to blows." He read some of the entry, "Your code name for Estel is quite fitting."

"I had to find something to call him, Gailgraban fit."

"He does have bright eyes and dark hair." Glorfindel agreed.

"Yes. As do many elves in this realm and some humans." Morwen said.

"I wonder if she enjoys reading the chronicle of Estel's life." Glorfindel said.

"I would think so, Elrond says it is much like seeing the twins be raised again. I hope the accounts of Estel's childhood bring her good memories of the twins." Morwen finished her page and placed a cap on the ink well. "He will not be a child for much longer and then the accounts will change."

"Perhaps we should just send Estel to you when it is his time to remind Celebrian of…"

Glorfindel laughed as Morwen threw one of the pillows at him.

Morwen sighed, "Honestly, first kisses are rarely memorable for the right reasons. They are awkward and unsure and you honestly do not want to embarrass yourself in front of the person you really wish to share a kiss with so you go to someone you feel comfortable with. It is Elladan and Elrohir, it was similar to kissing someone I am related to, there was nothing but friendship within them. Please, let it go." Morwen sat back, a slight pout on your face, "I am certain your first kiss was with a friend."

"First time around, yes, second time…" Glorfindel smiled, "no, not at all." Glorfindel cleared his throat as he saw the look on Morwen's face, "Right, what were we speaking of?"

"Your inability to let innocent incidents of my past go." Morwen said,

Glorfindel laughed, "I would not call it innocent."

"You cannot call it anything for you were not there." Morwen said.

"Sometimes I despise the fact you are a councilor and know how to analyze arguments so quickly." Glorfindel muttered, the smile taking the sting out of the words.

Morwen returned his phrase with a similar one, "It all works out then, sometimes I despise the fact you are a warrior and so often gone from this realm."

Glorfindel gave her a dry look, "I will not be leaving for another five years."

Morwen sighed, "Many things can happen in five minutes much less five years."

Glorfindel shook his head, "I am not going anywhere, not in spirit."

Morwen reached up to kiss him, "Let us hope not for I fear many will be leaving us soon."

Glorfindel laughed as he leaned down into the kiss, "Elrohir?"

Morwen nodded silently uniting their lips and for just a moment all the other worries of Imladris and the future were forgotten.

* * *

Elrond pulled out a piece of paper and began writing as Elrohir silently regarded him.

"Father?" he asked, switching from one foot to the other as he contemplated what his father had just told him, of his own experience of possibly loving a mortal woman.

Elrond gave his son a warm smile, "I am sending you to be with your sister, Elrohir. You need time to think, alone. Away from Elladan and Estel and Gilraen. As much as it pains me to give two of my children to the Golden Wood, for now you must go." Elrond smiled sadly, "I fear you will find little peace in this sanctuary, perhaps under the golden leaves you shall."

"Grandmother will not let me have a moment of peace with my troubled mind." Elrohir protested, both wanting to go and yet not wishing to leave.

"Which is why I am writing your grandfather and asking him to keep you under his wing. Galadriel will respect that. She spends much of her time with Arwen, your sister will keep her preoccupied." Elrond stood up to embrace his son, "Enjoy this time of peace while you are able for I fear it will not hold for very long and we cannot do without you for many years." Elrond placed a fatherly kiss on Elrohir's brow, "Be safe." he murmured.

* * *

Estel sat on Elrohir's bed, watching the elf pack his bags. "Are you going to leave and never come back like my father did?" he asked.

Elrohir stopped his packing and spun around, "Estel?"

"Mother said my father rode out one day and never returned, that he was killed. Will that happen to you as well?" Estel asked, his tone full of worry.

Elrohir rushed over to him, "Estel, your father was the victim of an unfortunate accident. Very unfortunate and while I can never promise you I will not ride out one day never to return, I will promise you this, I will fight as hard as I can to cling to life if I am ever so deadly injured." Elrohir placed a soft kiss upon his brow, "You will one day ride out Estel and will understand that danger comes with it, injury is almost certain."

"But you still like to ride out?" Estel asked.

"All the time. I love it." Elrohir patted Estel's face, "One day you will understand and you will feel the need to wander, to sleep out under the stars rather than within stone walls such as these." Elrohir smiled, "But that will be in the future and you should not feel the need to rush it. Now, be thankful that you do not have to do adult things."

"Like what?" Estel asked as Elrohir stood up to go back to his packing.

"Oh, like……" Elrohir tried to think of something particularly horrid, "cleaning out the stables."

At the silence Elrohir turned and laughed at Estel's clearly disgusted face, "Yes, that is about how I feel about it. Alas, it is a necessary action."

"Aren't the stable hands supposed to do that?"

Elrohir laughed, having asked Glorfindel a similar question all those years ago. He patted Estel's head, "Well, it is part of their duty but when you are out traveling you have no stable hands and as Glorfindel and father see it, everyone should do the task of everyone else at least once to understand and appreciate their duty. No one elf is better than the other when it comes down to the very essence of it all." He held Estel to his side, "Now, would you please help me pack my bag, you can learn the proper way."

Estel nodded, always eager to learn something new.

* * *

The ride to the Golden Wood had not been so tiring as it was full of thoughts. Elrohir sighed as he remembered his sudden departure. His father had urged him to leave immediately, but there was always the need to say farewell to all before he headed out. It was a habit of Elladan's that Elrohir had come to acquire. His twin had hugged him fiercely before he left and had honestly wished him a happy journey.

Now though, now he was in the Golden Wood, where he could just be Elrohir, not a warrior of the real or the son of Elrond, simply Elrohir. His horse had been taken to the stables and his pack taken to the royal talan. Now he walked among the leaves but at the familiar presence of his sister he stopped. He did not know if he ran to her or her to him but soon they were in a tight embrace. Elrohir clung to his sister, breathing in that familiar scent of family. For a moment he could feel his mother there, as if acting through his sister's care. Elrohir pulled back to look at Arwen, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

"You look so beautiful." Elrohir said.

"Grandfather says something about the moonlight becoming me or some other thing. Grandmother laughed when she heard it." Arwen hugged him again, "I have missed you, big brother."

"You would not have to if you would just come home." Elrohir said.

"Where is home?" Arwen asked. "Mother divided her time between here and Imladris where was her home?"

Elrohir laughed, "Oh, you have been here far too long if you are pondering semantics."

"Words mean little when you have so many other greater things to think about." Arwen said.

"Father would be so proud." Elrohir murmured.

Arwen's eyes darkened a trifle, "How is he?"

Elrohir answered honestly, "He misses you, dearly. He wishes you would come home, as we all wish you would do. Imladris is not the same without you."

"I am sure you are doing fine. Is it true Arathorn's widow is in residence?" Arwen asked.

Elrohir swallowed, "Yes and their son."

Arwen placed a hand on his face, "Elrohir what is it?"

Elrohir looked around, noticing the curious glances of the other elves, "Not here, not anywhere that is not secure. We will speak of it later."

Arwen nodded and continued to walk under the trees with Elrohir.

* * *

Tirnion stared blankly at Glorfindel. "You want me to do what?"

"Teach Estel how to use a bow and arrow. You are a woodland elf, it is your specialty, and I happen to know you are quite proficient with said bow." Glorfindel answered.

"Do you not think he is just slightly too young?" Tirnion asked.

"He is a human six-year-old with the mind of an elven six-year-old. I would have started him last year but decided to hold off at Morwen's urging." Glorfindel said.

Tirnion raised a brow, "She did not urge again this time?"

"I did not inform her this time." Glorfindel shook his head at Tirnion, "Do not look at me like that. She dislikes the bow for personal reasons and therefore her judgment in regard to its teaching is horribly flawed. Gilraen aggress with me, even the Dunedain children learn such skills at a young age."

Tirnion sighed, "I see your point but do you even have…." Tirnion stopped his question as Glorfindel pulled out a chest and opened it, revealing many small bows and arrows, some of his own realm's make, some of the Golden Wood.

"Are these the twins' bows?" Tirnion asked.

Glorfindel nodded and said, "And those given to Arwen, Morwen, Rian, and Erestor's daughters. Thalion took his own when he left for the Havens."

Tirnion looked up at Glorfindel, "Do you still communicate with him?"

Glorfindel smiled, "Oh, yes, often. I dare say we communicate more with the Havens than any other realm. Thalion, more than the others, has always been a sort of timid son of mine. The twins they were always more my nephews or younger cousins since they were Elrond's children, same with Erestor's daughters."

"The orphans are different." Tirnion noted.

"Yes, much. I sometimes feel as if we tried to overcompensate a bit, as if to make them feel more welcomed." Glorfindel said.

"If Thalion is like a son to you, what of the other two?" Tirnion could not help but ask.

Glorfindel propped himself on the desk, "Rian was older in age than the others when she came to us. She already knew her family and as I am sure you know, she saw them taken away. It took her long to speak, to come out of whatever mental hell she had been stuck in. Rian….there is always the feeling of needing to protect her and yet the knowledge she can and will take care of herself if she has to do such a thing. I do not believe I can place Rian in a simple category."

"And Morwen how was she placed?" Tirnion asked, always wanting to know the answer to such a question.

Glorfindel turned his head to stare out of the window. "Has Morwen told you much of her past?" Glorfindel asked.

"As much as she knows." Tirnion said.

"Then that is very little." Glorfindel sighed, "She refuses to learn more about her family."

"She cast them off as they cast her off." Tirnion stated/

"And yet she still desires to know of them." Glorfindel said in a soft voice.

"Do you know of them?" Tirnion asked.

"Yes." Glorfindel stated. "She is of Erestor's family house, it was the main reason her parents brought her here of all places, to place her within a home where her blood kin lived. They are cousins somewhere along the line."

"Where did the family house originate?" Tirnion asked.

"Gondolin." Glorfindel stated. "The House of the Pillar and the Tower of Snow. Some of the best lore masters came from that house."

"How……fitting." Tirnion said.

"Indeed." Glorfindel agreed.

Tirnion followed Glorfindel's gaze to the storm raging outside, "And she wishes to ignore this all?"

"Such ponderings cause her to raise questions she does not want answered. Perhaps one day." Glorfindel said. "Now, back to Estel's lessons."

"I will start to discuss it with you when you answer what a young Morwen was to you." Tirnion said, noting how Glorfindel had not answered the original question.

Glorfindel smiled, "Different. She spent some time around me, yes, but Erestor was by far her favorite. She would share secrets with me and would come to me for some comfort, but I do not think she ever saw me as a true figure of authority and I learned very early on all her time with Erestor had given her a mind much to advanced for her age." Glorfindel shrugged, "Like Rian, she was always different. They are not like you."

"Me?" Tirnion asked.

"Yes, you. My troublesome and annoying younger brother who I at once both wish to hug and strangle." Glorfindel said.

"I assure you, the feeling is often mutual." Tirnion muttered as he sat back, "Now, about those archery lessons…."

* * *

"Is it true Eregeth is asking Thalion to sail?" Eluialeth asked Morwen as they went through the library, the half-century cleaning was being done a few years early due to the preparation of Estel's education.

Morwen pulled the cloth covering her mouth from the dust down, "I am not sure. You were in the Havens more recently than I. Did she seem to be urging Thalion to go?"

"It was subtle, I think. Small comments and prods but Thalion, and his son, they seem so content to be there in the Havens. Neither are in a hurry to sail." Eluialeth said.

Morwen nodded, and passed one of the smaller books to Estel, "Estel, will you put this over on the table for me?"

Estel nodded, delighting in this game as he played messenger.

"I cannot believe you told him he is playing a messenger." Eluialeth said as she watched him go.

"It is training of some kind. And look how careful he is being with the books." Morwen defended her actions.

"You have no shame." Eluialeth said.

"He is enjoying himself, which is good." Morwen said as she glanced out on the dark and wet world, springtime showers clearly making themselves known, "I would rather have him play at being a messenger in the house than complain about being forced inside because of the rain. Think, Eluialeth, with both Elrohir and Elladan out of the realm and our elders in meetings all day, just who do you think would be required to play with him outside?"

Eluialeth nodded, "Gilraen needs the rest as well. Horrible sickness she has."

"I am sure it will pass. She just wanted to protect Estel from such a thing." Morwen laughed, "You must admit, it was quite amusing to see Elrond sneezed on."

Eluialeth snickered, "He was trying so hard to be polite about it as well. I do not think he could handle seeing Estel laid in bed with an illness."

"No, he has not had much experience with such a thing here in Imladris. Few of the human children become so ill they need his skills."

Morwen gestured for Eluialeth to be silent as Estel came back to them. She was about to ask Estel if he wanted to go to the kitchens when one of the pages came running into the library.

"Councilor Morwen, Gildor Inglorion's party approaches as does a small escort containing the crown prince of Mirkwood."

"Why are you telling me this?" Morwen asked.

"They will not let me in the meeting room and Balanauth and Lady Faeleth are also in there as are all the senior councilors and I cannot find Lindir." the page stated.

Morwen sighed and turned to Eluialeth, "Well, this will certainly be a memorable greeting." she attempted to brush some of the dust off her dress as Eluialeth did the same. Gathering up a protesting Estel Morwen turned to the page, "Let the wing for Gildor's people be prepared and let the cooks know we have a very large party in attendance. Also inform them of the presence of the escort from Mirkwood and that Berenon is among them. Order the fire started in the Hall and find some of the minstrels to provide entertainment, it is the best we can do until the elders come out of the council meeting and wherever Rian has taken herself off to, find her as well."

Morwen began the descent down to the entrance way, grabbing one of Estel's small cloaks.

"I do not want the cloak." Estel said.

"Whether you want the cloak or not it is going on you. Elrond will punish us both if you go out there with no cloak on and become soaked through." Morwen said.

"I will wear a cloak if you wear one." Estel said.

Morwen glanced down at her clothing, covered in dust and oil for the books' leather covers. She shrugged, "Fine by me." and pulled a cloak around her shoulders as Eluialeth quickly garbed Estel in his own. Morwen nodded in approval, "Let us go and get this over with. The sooner we greet them the sooner we can get on with things."

"I know of Gildor's people." Estel said, "But who is Berenon?"

"He is the eldest son of King Thranduil of Mirkwood. He is quite older than either I or Eluialeth and he has his own family. I am sure he is here for Tirnion."

"Does Tirnion have to go home now?" Estel asked.

"Most likely." Morwen said as she shared a silent look with Eluialeth.

"Does he have to go home because he has been bad here in Imladris?" Estel asked.

Morwen's eyes widened as she purposely bit her lip to hold back her laughter while Eluialeth snorted for a moment before taking a deep breath to send her own chuckles away.

"Um..no, Estel. If Tirnion is being told to go back to his home then it is because they need him there, more than we need him here." Eluialeth said.

"But who will teach me archery if he goes?" Estel asked.

Morwen smiled down at the young boy, "I am certain Glorfindel will take over the task, as will Erestor, at least until Elladan and Elrohir return. No need to worry about it now, Berenon could be arriving for any number of reasons."

Estel did not seem pleased with the answer to his questions but any further words were swallowed up as he watched the very large party of bedraggled elves arrive.

"Estel," Eluialeth whispered, "meet the Wandering Party led by Gildor Inglorion."

* * *

Thanks:

**Renna, **thank you for the review! I am big on the showing, rather than the telling (though I do both) largely due to the fact a creative writing friend drilled said words into my head. Estel is, indeed, fun to play around with as are the reactions of the others in regards to him. Glad to know you are still enjoying it!

**Sielge,** thank you for the review! I'm trying to update as often as I can.

**Nima, **thank you for the reviews both on this story and on _Once I Was_ (I left a reply to that review on my lj). It's always good to know my chapter brightens your grim Monday's. I do try to bring a smile to the face, and yes, I don't care how old Elrond, Erestor, and Glorfindel can be, even they can take part in a game of tag. It's good for the spirit.


	5. The River of Dreams

**Disclaimer: Tolkien owns it all, I just have the original characters. **

**Loss and Hope**

**Chapter Five: The River of Dreams**

_In the middle of the night_

_I go walking in my sleep_

_Through the jungle of doubt_

_To a river so deep_

_I know I'm searching for something_

_Something so undefined_

_That it can only be seen_

_By the eyes of the blind_

-Billy Joel, _The River of Dreams_

* * *

_**TA 2937**_

Elrohir laid down upon the grass, staring up at the sky in the Golden Wood, trying his best to see the stars through all the branches and leaves. It always seemed such a mystery here, how everything could be bathed in moonlight while the massive trees did their best to hide the stars. He had been here for many days, the actual time having been forgot somewhere in between all the thinking he had done and all the talks he had been subjected to. Arwen, at least, had seen to it that he was now to have some time alone. He had been feeling quite thankful when those first precious moments of a solitary glade presented themselves. Now though, now he was only left alone with his thoughts, the moonlight, and the hidden stars. He could not stop his mind from going back to the cold accusation of his twin, the tentative question of his friend, and the short tale of his father's own struggle.

He never thought it would be this difficult.

Even knowing it would never be an easy choice, he never thought it would be _this_ difficult. Of course, he never thought it would be much of a choice. Even knowing another alternative existed, he had thought in the end it would be the elven side that won out. As the years had past, he began to wonder. There was a restlessness in him, a part that could not be soothed even when he was within his father's realm, a sanctuary for all of Arda. There was a part of him that always wondered, if he should have an elven mate, should they have not met by now? Even his Grandmother had all but told him he would not find such a thing on Arda. He thought he could wait, that he could go to Aman but now, now he also wondered if he could take that final step.

What did Aman hold? Peace? Peace was something that had always been tentative at best in his life, something he had grown up with and yet had gone as swiftly as his own innocence. How did those in Aman survive, all those old warriors, when there was little, near on nothing, to fight for? How could he leave this land, this Middle Earth, where he had always been, never to return? How was it fair that his own choice was contingent on when his father left? And did he have to leave with his father or did his choice have to be made before his father left? How could he be expected to leave all the people he had helped to protect since he had joined the guard?

Elrohir covered his face with his hands, wishing all the questions would stop. He flinched as he felt the tentative touch of another's hand on his hair. Elrohir pulled his hands away from his eyes and looked up into the concerned countenance of his sister.

"You are thinking far too much." Arwen stated.

"I thought one came to the Golden Wood to contemplate." Elrohir said.

Arwen smiled, "On Good Things, not on the dark and the unsure things like you are doing."

"I cannot stop thinking about them. They are the things that drove me here." Elrohir said.

"Did you expect to find answers here?" Arwen asked.

"I honestly do not know. As I have been here, I have found more questions than answers."

Arwen nodded and was silent for a moment. Then she said, "Perhaps the questions are the answers."

Elrohir laughed humorlessly, "Then I fear my life will continue to be one of confusion and contradiction."

"Would it be so meaningful and so delightful if it was so simple and easy?" Arwen pondered.

"Well, in your current state it is very easy to say such a thing." Elrohir muttered.

Arwen moved to lay down beside Elrohir. "Will you tell me now what is wrong with you?"

Elrohir studied his sister and after a moment asked, "Have you ever thought about our choice?"

Arwen sighed and looked up at the hidden stars, "I have not wanted to. I do not feel I should contemplate such a thing until it is time."

"You have honestly never thought about it?" Elrohir asked.

Arwen smiled, "I have never had a reason to do such a thing. I have never felt a pull to that small bit of mortal within us."

Elrohir laughed, "You have not been around many mortals."

"You have, you trust them and have ridden among them." Arwen patted Elrohir's hand, "And you have loved them like a family. I know Arathorn's death must have been so hard for you. You were so close to him."

Elrohir regarded his sister with a cynical stare, "Do you truly have any idea how difficult it was?"

Arwen raised a dark brow, "Elrohir, what are you…"

"Arwen, you have never truly lost someone who is so close to you. Yes, mother sailed, but we will see her again." Elrohir said.

"If we all choose immortality." Arwen answered.

"Yes. But Arwen, you have never experienced death, not like that." Elrohir said.

"I have experienced the death of the elves of our realms." Arwen weakly protested.

"They were not your family, not your friends. It is a hard thing to do." Elrohir said.

"What is?" Arwen asked.

"The letting go." Elrohir was silent as he closed his eyes and took the night air into his body. "Elladan believes I am in love with Gilraen."

"Arathorn's widow?"

"Yes."

"Are you?" Arwen asked.

"I do not know." Elrohir laughed, "And because I do not know I do not think I am. I do not know how I should feel. Everything I could possibly feel for her, beyond the sense of duty I have.."

"Duty?"

Elrohir nodded, "Arathorn once made Elladan and I swear we would protect his family in his absence. So there is that but there is also….the guilt."

"Please do not tell me you feel responsible for Arathorn's death." Arwen said.

"I know it is not rational, I know I should not feel such a thing, but somewhere in there, I do."

"Have you spoken with…….."

"Glorfindel. Of course. He told me it was only natural and some other things, I must confess at that point I was tired of being talked at rather than talked to." Elrohir said.

"Well then, it seems you have done far too much talking and thinking and listening to people talking." Arwen stated, a smile on her face and humor in her eyes.

"And what does my sister recommend?" Elrohir asked.

"That you lie back, close your eyes, and concentrate on what nature has to say. Listen to the wind, the trees, the grass, the night, and find comfort in their ancient wisdom." Arwen whispered, her voice tempting him into a sort of sleep.

Elrohir smiled as he settled back and did as his sister bid, hearing the whispers of the ancients and knowing that the guilt of today and yesterday did not have to be the guilt of tomorrow.

* * *

Night had fallen on Imladris and the rains had finally stopped. Estel was curled up in a chair in front of the library fire, having tired of his messenger duties hours ago. Berenon had taken pity on the young boy and had told him tales of the Woodland elves until he fell asleep.

"You are good with him." Eluialeth said as she continued to catalog the books

Berenon turned to study her, having not spent much time with this she-elf. He had not spent much time around her for her time in Mirkwood was spent mostly in the company of her own and Tirnion. In regards to her spirit, Berenon was reminded of his own wife, one never to suffer fools (or the ladies of the court) lightly. Berenon nodded at Eluialeth's words, "I have had much practice with all of my younger siblings. I hope to one day have my own children when some semblance of peace returns." Berenon laughed, "I fear my wife would be more content if we just adopted someone else's child."

"She does not delight in small children?" Eluialeth asked.

Berenon nodded, "She was an aide in the birthing rooms."

Eluialeth smiled, "That would explain it."

Berenon stood up and walked over to the tables to sit beside Eluialeth. "Are you really the daughter of Chief Councilor Erestor?" he asked.

Eluialeth gave him an amused look, "Are you really the son of King Thranduil of Mirkwood?"

Berenon laughed, "I simply mean to say you do not appear as sharp as he does, nor as, and I mean no offense, cunning and cruel."

Eluialeth shrugged, "I am young yet. You also still have much to learn about me. I fear I am quite known for my sharp tongue and my brutal honesty. Your father found my criticism of his library quite amusing."

"Contrary to what many seem to believe, my father finds many things amusing."

"Did you come here to tell Tirnion he must return? You do not appear to be in a rush." Eluialeth said as she continued on with her duties.

Berenon admired her ability to nonchalantly ask such an important question. He quickly answered her, "Oh, you do not waste time. While I did come to tell Tirnion his respite might be cut short if the situation with some of our human allies gets worse, I am more here as a messenger."

"With an escort." Eluialeth muttered.

Berenon protested, "Of a mere four elves. It is quite dangerous for any to travel alone at this time."

"That is not the only reason you traveled." Eluialeth said, her eyes noting the tension in Berenon's body.

Berenon smiled, "You do not happen to be related to Tirnion's mother, do you? You have very similar attitudes."

"Since I am Noldor and she is Silvan, I fear that is not possible."

A wicked smile spread across Berenon's face, "And you hope it is not as well, not to violate the kinship and marriage laws."

Eluialeth narrowed her eyes, "I am afraid I do not know what exactly you are alluding to."

Berenon laughed softly, "Oh, you may not now, but you will eventually understand it. Now," Berenon said as he stood up, "If you will excuse me I need to see how my elves are settling in."

"I am sure they are fine." Eluialeth said.

"They are, I just do not wish to be in your presence when you figure out what I just insinuated for I fear that ink may be slightly acidic." Berenon hurried out of the room, trying his best not to laugh at Eluialeth's puzzlement.

* * *

Glorfindel pulled Morwen to the side, "You should go speak with Tirnion."

Morwen raised a brow as she took a step away from him, not wanting to arouse suspicion, "Have you heard something?"

"None have seen him since Berenon delivered his message." Glorfindel said.

"Do you know what said message detailed?" Morwen asked.

Glorfindel shook his head, "Neither have shared such information with me."

Morwen smiled, "So this is not merely a 'help Tirnion' moment but a mission to find information for you."

"Not simply for me, for the good of the realm and of Arda." Glorfindel stated.

"Is that what you tell your soldiers?" Morwen asked with an amused shake of her head.

"I believe we have also had that conversation before." Glorfindel said.

"I am sure many of our conversations will be repeated as time goes on." Morwen said.

"Morwen…"

Morwen sighed and began to turn, "I will go seek out Tirnion."

"Thank you." Glorfindel stated as he gave her a slight bow.

Morwen nodded and walked out into the gardens, scanning the area for the sign of Tirnion's silver hair. She took in a deep breath, enjoying the smell of a world that had just seen a rain pass by and smiled as the moonlight captured the strands of Tirnion's hair, the sliver of silver peaking out through the leaves of a tree.

"How do you hide at night?" Morwen asked as she approached him.

Tirnion laughed, "I know how to hide when I do not wish to be found." He moved to the side, making room for Morwen on the tree branch as she scrambled up the trunk, "You must also remember, with such a massive shadow, moonlight is not so common in Mirkwood." Tirnion said, keeping his comments on Morwen's climbing to himself.

"I must wonder, if you wish to be found, why climb up here in the first place." Morwen said.

"Because often when we hide, we do wish to be found but only by those who are truly looking for us with good intent."

Morwen settled herself, wiping traces of bark off of her dress, "You appear to have thought on this quite a bit."

Tirnion nodded, "I have certainly had the time to in recent years. I will have more time it appears."

"Berenon did not come to take you back?" Morwen asked.

"Berenon did not come to take me back, at least not yet. I have been warned not to become too idle for there is much unrest between Mirkwood and its tenuous allies. The dragon is certainly not helping matters." Tirnion said with a resigned tone in his voice.

"Does Legolas no longer speak with the dragon?" Morwen asked.

"No, alas they had a falling out. My second has also been injured, therefore the council, and not my soldiers, have elected a new head of the guard." Tirnion spat out.

"From your tone I take it you are not pleased." Morwen said.

"Besides the fact that Berenon or Legolas should have been given the chance to lead, the elf they picked is a complete and utter fool with the penchant for falling asleep on duty." Tirnion stated as he hands tightened around the branch he was holding on to.

Confused, Morwen asked, "Why did they pick him?"

"Because he is one of the high councilors' sons. They also made this decision when all three members of the royal family were off fighting on one of the borders."

"Should that not render the decision invalid?" Morwen asked.

"One would think. However, it was approved by the elf Thranduil had left in power."

Morwen's eyebrows rose, "That elf is in trouble."

"Berenon told me said elf has become quite paranoid. Thranduil refuses to even look at the elf. I know he would strip him of all his titles if he could, but such a thing cannot be done in our current state. Even invalidating the decision without proper cause will raise an issue. If someone argues the child of a councilor cannot lead the guard, then I will most certainly be stripped of my position." Tirnion said.

"You do not think this is an attack on you?" Morwen asked.

"Morwen, I do not know what to think. I am not there, I cannot see their faces and I cannot know what is going on but it does seem oddly suspicious that they wait until I am no longer in reach."

Morwen settled back on the branch with a sad smile, "Ah, politics and diplomacy."

"Lying and cheating and every which way they can." Tirnion grumbled.

Morwen laughed as she rested her head on his shoulder, "At least you may continue with Estel's lessons. He was quite upset when he thought you were leaving."

Tirnion laughed softly, "He does have the power to encourage me to stay even if I did have to leave. Elrohir will return soon, though, and I will be regulated to the status of 'just another elf.' It may just break my heart."

"I am sure you will always be special to Estel. You are, after all, his first archery teacher. Those things tend to be remembered."

Tirnion nodded, "Sadly, the thought of such a thing brings my own level of homesickness. I have been away from Mirkwood for longer than this, but now, I am finding myself missing my family."

"There is intrigue going on in your realm, it is only natural you would be worried for your mother and sisters. You feel you can protect them more if you are there." Morwen said.

"Not that they need protecting, at least not from me." Tirnion said, remembering times when he tried to do such a noble deed in the past.

"There is nothing wrong with missing your home, Tirnion, and if you left early it would hurt us, but we would understand." Morwen said.

Tirnion shook his head, "Even when I go to Mirkwood, there are still things I miss here."

"Things or people?" Morwen asked.

"People." Tirnion answered.

Morwen smiled, "People or person?" she asked.

Tirnion gave her a look, "People. I miss more than one."

"But do you miss one more than most?" Morwen asked.

"I thought you were above idle gossip." Tirnion said.

"Tirnion." Morwen answered in a dry tone.

"Foolish of me, I know." Tirnion said.

"I do believe I know this one person more than most." Morwen said, going back to the earlier issue.

"It could be you for all you know." Tirnion protested.

"Not possible." Morwen said.

Tirnion shook his head, "Very possible. I do miss you dearly when I am gone."

"And yet, while you were here, it is not my presence you have spent the most time in."

"You observe much to well." Tirnion stated.

Morwen smiled, "It is my duty, it is your duty, it is.."

"Are you two coming down from there anytime soon?" Elladan asked.

"Oh, look who has returned." Tirnion said.

"Yes, and he is not climbing the tree. Odd, it used to be one of his favorite habits." Morwen said.

"Should you not be greeting Rian?" Tirnion asked.

"I will, but I need to speak with Morwen." Elladan said.

Morwen sighed, "You do know there are plenty of other elves to speak with."

"Yes, but you are so dear to me and I know what I say to you will only be shared with a few others." Elladan said.

"Then can you not just say your piece in front of Tirnion so as to save us time in the eventual end."

"Well, I do not believe Tirnion has much to say on this topic, but it concerns Elrohir."

Tirnion nodded, "He is correct, I do not have much to say on this topic. I personally believe Elrohir should be left to his own devices since it is his own decision and that he needs to search deep within himself to find the answer that is best for him. Any persuading from our side will probably not work when the poor elf is so obviously torn."

Morwen gave a curt nod, "I must say, I agree with Tirnion on this."

"Yes, will, Tirnion is not the one who faces losing his twin brother to a mortal fate and a woman who so clearly will never love him, not in the way he so desires." Elladan said.

"My, does this not sound hauntingly familiar?" Tirnion asked.

Morwen patted his shoulder, "You and I both overcame such a past, though the span of our life did not come into play." Morwen turned to Elladan, "Elladan, Elrohir has never said whether or not he has love for the mortal woman we shall not name while I am up in a tree and you are down on the ground. I do agree that yes, she will never care for Elrohir in such a way as you are assuming Elrohir cares for her, I must also state that Elrohir himself does not know what he feels. Nor do I believe Elrohir will make such a decision without much thought. His mind is his own on this matter and whatever he will choose, you have to support him Elladan."

"So easy for you to say." Elladan stated, ignoring the fact she had just answered him like she did a foolish person who came to the councils.

Morwen let out a deep breath. She said, "He is as dear to me as he is to you. Yes, you are his twin brother and yes, that is an undeniable bond, but do you not also have a bond to Rian now, a bond your twin cannot equal? Do you not see that you are also starting to drift away from him and truly become your own elf, as it is to be done?"

"So it is my fault…" Elladan stared.

Morwen gave Tirnion a bored look before she made her way down to Elladan. Clasping Elladan's shoulder she said, "Elladan, you must realize, this is Elrohir's decision and has little to do with you. You are his twin, but it is his life. Furthermore, it is a decision I personally believe is a long way off, you do not have to worry about it now."

"But he has gone to the Golden Wood." Elladan protested.

"Only to think, Elladan. He needs time away from us all and from the ever present_ her_ to think." Tirnion said from the branches above. "It is something I know well."

"And while he is gone, you should do your own thinking." Morwen gave his cheek a soft pat, "Honestly, you act as if you two have never been separated before."

"It is long since we have been."

"But it is not the first time." Morwen smiled, "Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get back inside."

"I thought you came out here to comfort me?" Tirnion asked.

"You are comforted and I got the information I was required, now I must start spreading it through our network." Morwen said.

Tirnion laughed as he jumped down from the branches, "Ah, politics."

"Curious minds, more likely." Elladan said as the group made their way inside.

"At least there are many guests and many new stories to hear." Tirnion said.

"But first, Elladan, you need to go see Rian." Morwen stated.

Elladan ducked his head, blushing, "You are, of course, correct." Elladan hurried inside much to Morwen and Tirnion's amusement.

"You should go to the library." Morwen said.

"Request or order?" Tirnion asked.

"A requesting order." Morwen said, laughing as Tirnion nodded and ran up the staircase to the library.

* * *

The night had passed from darkness to the pale light of morning and only a few elves were still left wandering the halls among them, Morwen and Glorfindel.

"Tirnion is left torn then." Glorfindel said as Morwen finished her short report on the day's conversation.

"Aren't we all?" Morwen asked.

"The problem does seem to be arising that we all need to be in more places than possible. I must confess, having heard some of Tirnion and Berenon's concerns, I am almost tempted to go to Mirkwood." At Morwen's look Glorfindel said, "Not that I would, mind you."

"No, no need." Morwen let her voice come to a stop as one of Gildor's people came around the corner, surely headed in the direction of the library. Morwen and Glorfindel both gave a nod in greeting to the elf before continuing on their own way. "Will you let Balanauth return with Berenon?" she asked.

"I am pondering it. We have Thranduil's seneschal, he should at least have my second, especially when Tirnion's second is currently in a healing bed for quite some time."

"It will indeed take some time for those burns and breaks to heal."

"Which is why we do not taunt dragons." Glorfindel said.

Morwen smiled, "We do not know so much if it was taunting rather than a simple inquiry with a cranky dragon."

"Morwen, have you ever met a dragon?" Glorfindel asked.

Morwen shook her head, "That is one creature I have not met."

"Sadly, I have, and they are rarely anything but cranky as you say."

As they started to walk up the staircase to the chambers, Glorfindel pulled Morwen close, "Are you well?" he asked.

Morwen gave him a confused look, "Why do you ask such a thing?"

"You are very close to the twins and Tirnion, their pain is in some ways your pain."

"Theirs is not so much pain as confusion. I am well, Glorfindel, as are they."

"Or as they will be." Glorfindel muttered as he opened the doors to Morwen's chambers, casting a watchful gaze over the corridor for signs of any others. They had become much more cautious as the years had gone by and the few random attacks on Morwen had occurred. The threats had also increased, but those had increased to all councilors. Due to the threats it had become official policy that no councilor, even Erestor himself, was allowed to leave Imladris without at least one member of the guard with them. Glorfindel was not taking any chances, not this time, not anymore.

Morwen's room was dark as usual, the pale light of dawn barley making its way through her small window. Glorfindel waited as Morwen lit one of the candelabras, quietly contemplating why he never asked Mithrandir to place some sort of spell on the candles in the room. The wizard could manipulate fire and light, surely he could do something about this.

"Stop that." Morwen said.

"What?" Glorfindel asked.

"Silently critiquing the supposed inconvenience of the light in my bedroom. I like the dark and we can see in it."

"A little more light would not…" Glorfindel stopped at Morwen's look, "I know, it is not you. You like the darkness and the cold, the winter and all things that apparently make you appear to be named properly as a 'dark lady.'"

"And by some odd twist of fate I am with you, golden braids and all."

Glorfindel laughed as he came to stand beside Morwen, placing a soft kiss on her neck, "I see it as a perfect balance, a union."

"How idealistic." Morwen muttered.

"I am attempting to be a sort of romantic, please try to control your cynicism."

Morwen nodded, "Of course."

Glorfindel reached up and began to undo her plaits, letting her hair free from its constraints. He lightly ran his fingers through it, working out the snarls being far too comfortable in his current position to move for the brush.

"What will you say to Elrohir upon his return?" Glorfindel asked.

"First, for Elrond's sake, I will ask him when Arwen plans to return. Then I will tell him the only thing I can, that no matter what he decides or whenever he decides it, I will stand by his decision. How can any of us do anything different?"

Glorfindel kissed Morwen's temple, "You are a very good friend."

"You would do the same." Morwen murmured.

Glorfindel shrugged, "In all honesty, I do not know. Having lived and died and am living again, I do not know how I feel about a half-elf giving up their immortality never to return. Though it is not my place to judge."

"I have faith in you." Morwen stated as she pulled away and moved to her bed, sitting down as she gestured for Glorfindel to follow. He did and smiled as Morwen curled into his side.

"Tell me a story." she whispered.

"Now you wish to hear my tales?" Glorfindel asked, laughter in his voice.

"No, do not tell me of battles or dragons or any other such thing I can read in countless books and accounts. Tell me of something that was never written down, of a normal day that sticks out in your mind."

Glorfindel smiled, "An account of a normal day?"

Morwen nodded.

Glorfindel stretched out, "Well, there was this one time in Gondolin when Ecthelion was juggling knives….."

* * *

Elladan stood out in the gardens, having crawled out of his bed unable to sleep. He stared into the sky, watching the nigh slowly fade into the day.

"You will not find the answer you seek in the sky." Rian said as she came to stand beside him, a hand running through his unbound hair.

"I could find it." Elladan argued.

"The only answer you will find in the sky, Elladan, is the answer to what time of day it is and what the weather will be."

"You could be more philosophical about this, could tell me that with each new day comes hope."

"That is what I have you for." Rian reached up, placing a soft kiss on Elladan's lips, "The answer you seek can only come from Elrohir and we both know you will not get that answer for some time."

"I do not know why there even has to be a debate over this."

"Would you deny your brother happiness?" Rian asked.

"At this cost?" Elladan asked.

"But if he is happy?"

Elladan sighed and shook his head, knowing he could not argue with such a thing.

Rian nodded and pulled him into the house, "Come to bed, Elladan. You need to preserve your energy, for Estel has been making noises about riding lessons and in Gilraen's current state, I fear she would agree to it."

Elladan smiled and followed Rian inside. He turned his head, giving one last gaze to the horizon, knowing his brother and sister were doing the same in the Golden Wood, he could still feel them awake as he traced the lines of their connection. He smiled when he felt them acknowledge his query, feeling the flooding of warmth and reassurance from his siblings. He would support Elrohir in his choice, even if it meant one day losing this connection, it was for this twin, his brother, and he could do nothing else.

* * *

A/N 1: Sorry about the delay, the real world of grad studies made itself known.

A/N 2: Thanks:

**Renna,** being a twin myself (though I have odd circumstances surrounding it, but still), it always irks me when people paint twins as one single entity. It's just not how it is. Just because you look exact, have the same genetic code, etc, you're still different people. So, yeah, I like to try to make "my" Elladan and Elrohir different. The dynamics of the family line Morwen (and in my story Erestor) is descended from will come more into play in future stories…especially with the eventual journey to Aman. Thank you again for the review and am still so happy you are enjoying it.

**Nima**, well, usually I time manage so I can have a night to write (though sometimes like this past week, I have too much work to do) so that's how it happens….though it might also be some sleep deprivation. Some chapters come easier than others though, so that can also help how quickly the chapters come out. Having siblings, yeah, I have many of those "I love you but I dislike you right now" moments. And yes, with Aragorn growing up there will be a lot more Arwen. Thank you, as always for the reviews!


	6. Vienna

**Disclaimer: Everything but the original characters and the Billy Joel lyrics belong to Tolkien and company.**

**Loss and Hope**

**_Chapter Six: Vienna_**

_Slow down you're doing fine  
You can't be everything you want to be  
Before your time  
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight  
Too bad but it's the life you lead  
You're so ahead of yourself  
That you forfeit what you need  
Though you can see when you're wrong _

But you know you can't always see when you're right  
You got your passion you got your pride  
But don't you know only fools are satisfied?  
Dream on but don't imagine they'll al come true  
When will you realize  
Vienna waits for you'

_- _Billy Joel_, Vienna_

* * *

_**TA 2939**_

Arwen came upon her brother in his favorite glade. The time in the Golden Wood had done wonders for Elrohir, there was a renewed joy in him, a lightness in his step and in his eyes.

Arwen placed a soft hand on his face, her smile matching his own.

"It is time for you to depart." Arwen said.

"Has father ordered my return?" Elrohir asked.

"No, he has not. But it is time for you to go back." Arwen placed a soft kiss on her brother's brow, "There is nothing left for you to find here, nothing left for you to ponder."

"You sound certain." Elrohir remarked.

Arwen nodded, "You have made your decision."

"Yes," Elrohir said, "I have."

"And you are cotenant with your choice." Arwen said.

"Yes, I am." Elrohir assured her.

Arwen smiled at her brother, unmindful of the tears gathering in her eyes, "You have found your answer, it is time for you to depart."

Elrohir pulled his sister into a loose embrace, "I will heed your words."

"As you should, for I am your sister and I am most wise."

Elrohir laughed as he dried the tears from Arwen's face. "You could return home with me." he said.

"It is not yet my time." Arwen told him. "I still have more to ponder here."

"Will you ever return?" Elrohir asked, giving voice to a fear many in Imladris held.

"If I have not returned in two decades I promise, you may come and collect me and I will return without objection." Arwen gave her brother one last tight hug. "Now, hurry, you have a young boy back in Imladris who is growing up quite quickly and needs you there to teach him. Give my love to all." Arwen said.

"Of course." Elrohir agreed. His eyes trailed one last time to the sky in the Golden Wood before he gave his sister one last nod and left the glade.

* * *

Elrohir smiled as a young boy came running up to him. This was not the Estel he had left, this boy was much taller, the uncertainty of youth starting to be replaced by the cockiness of the adolescent. His hair was growing shaggy, starting to fall in his light eyes, but that smile still contained a hint of the young boy who had sat on Elrohir's bed as he prepared to leave. 

Elrohir dismounted, "Estel, look at you." Elrohir motioned for the elf at his side to continue on to the stables. There were none to greet them, for he had asked for few to be alerted of their presence, most importantly Glorfindel. He feared the elf lord's reaction when he learned what elf had accompanied Elrohir on his return.

Estel nodded at Elrohir's words, "Tirnion and Glorfindel say I grow another inch each day." He reached up to give Elrohir a strong embrace, "My mother says she has stopped counting the difference, for she thinks I will soon be taller than she is now."

"You are merely eight, but I must admit, you are quite tall for your age." Elrohir reached a hand out and ruffled the hair, laughing at the unconventional cut. "Your mother has let you grow it like this?" he asked.

Estel shrugged, "She says if I desire to blind myself with my hair and have the continued need to walk into walls that is my own prerogative though I should not expect a healer to come running and fix me every time I break something from said blindness. I do not know if she was jesting or being truthful, but she has let me keep my hair in such a way."

"Glorfindel makes you tie it back though, yes?" Elrohir asked as he remembered Glorfindel's decrees from his youth.

"Of course he does." Estel answered. "He is not as bad as Tirnion. You would think I had my whole face covered with the way he goes on about it."

Elrohir smiled, "Each realm of elves have their own laws of decorum and I do believe your hair violates that of the wood elves of Mirkwood." Elrohir started to lead his horse to the stables but was stopped as Thandrog came riding up behind him, a disgruntled look on his face.

"You are not happy." Elrohir said.

Thandrog gave him a dark look, "The Men of the South are generally foolish, I am sorry if I offended some of your kin." The road weary elf said. "And I was forced to deal with them on my own for some time. The councilor we sent out there has fallen ill and they have demanded a replacement. What kind of elf falls ill in a human realm?"

"Poison?" Estel asked.

Thandrog jumped, obviously just taking note of the young boy. "Estel, good to see you! How are the archery lessons?"

"They are going well, though I prefer the sword and knife training with Glorfindel and Elladan. Now, was it poison?" Estel asked, getting to the matter at hand.

"Not a heavy dose." Thandrog answered. "We have the councilor's room barricaded with forces though, I am here to find the replacement and the replacement escort since I refuse to go out there again."

Elrohir laughed, "Thandrog, were they really that bad?"

"YES!" Thandrog yelled. He then took the reins of Elrohir's horse, "Let me go take care of these two, I fear I have had my fill of non-animal contact for the century."

Elrohir laughed as he watched Thandrog walk off to the stables, grumbling the entire way.

Elrohir gestured to the house, "Shall we?" he asked Estel.

Estel nodded, "Thank you for the letters and the gifts you sent. My mother loved the dress."

"Oh, I fear that was not my gift but that of my sister." Elrohir said.

"You have a sister?" Estel asked.

Elrohir laughed, "Oh, yes, I do. You have heard of her, remember, Arwen."

"Why have I never met her? I find it difficult to remember you have a sister when I have never seen her." Estel said.

"She spends much time in the Golden Wood. I am certain you will meet her one day." Elrohir said as they passed through various hallways and staircases. "If you will excuse me, I must see my father."

"You must see me first." Morwen said from above, her dark hair down and obscuring most of her face. Elrohir smiled, she had not yet seen Elrohir's guest. It would, indeed, be better to see her before such a time.

Elrohir turned to Estel, "If you will excuse me, I must see Morwen and then I muse see my father. I will speak to you soon after that, I have many tales to tell you."

Estel nodded, running off in the direction of his mother's rooms.

Elrohir ascended the staircase surprising Morwen as he pulled her into a tight embrace. He laughed at her sound of surprise.

"Who told you I had returned?" Elrohir asked.

"We all have our ways." Morwen answered as she pulled herself from Elrohir's arms. "Your brother knew you were drawing near. He said as much to Rian when he headed the patrol this morning. He should be back within the hour."

The two continued down the hall in silence until they came to Elrohir's chambers.

Elrohir smiled as he walked into the room, watching as Morwen pulled back the curtains and flooded the room with daylight.

"We got the dust out, cleared the things off." Morwen said as she continued to bring light into the room.

Elrohir watched her movements from his bed, "You're not going to ask me?"

"Are you going to tell me?" Morwen asked as she turned to look at him.

"I have made a decision." Elrohir said.

"And?" Morwen asked.

Elrohir smiled, "I have decided to not yet decide."

"Very wise." Morwen said.

Elrohir studied her, finding nothing but truth in her words. With a suspicious look he asked, "It took me two years to make that decision, you are not going to taunt me?"

Morwen shook her head, "I am just glad it did not take you two hundred years." She came over to him and placed a soft kiss on his brow, so reminiscent of Arwen it almost made Elrohir's breath stop, if it was not for the fact he was flooded in daylight and not moonlight, he would have thought he was elsewhere.

"Welcome home, Elrohir." Morwen said before she left him to this thoughts.

* * *

Elrohir knocked softly on his father's door, smiling at the elf behind the desk. The desk covered in maps and papers and a content looking elf. 

"Father?" he asked.

"I felt your return, I was quite surprised." Elrond said.

"It was a small escort and I honestly did not know I was going to leave the Golden Wood until I rode out." Elrohir said.

Elrond put down his work, "Why did you?"

Elrohir walked further into the room, almost feeling like the oft-chastised elf he was in his youth. "Arwen said it was time." Elrohir told his father.

"And you just went?" Elrond asked, clearly disbelieving his son's words.

"She is quite convincing." Elrohir came to stand beside his father. "She is coming home eventually, she promises."

Elrond stood up and embraced his son, "How long?" he asked.

"At least twenty more years." Elrohir said.

"That is not too long then, it has already been many decades." Elrond whispered as he let Elrohir go. "Did you find the answer you so desperately sought?" Elrond asked.

Elrohir smiled sadly, "No, no I did not." He looked at his father, knowledge in his eyes, "But I found the answer I needed."

Elrond took in a deep breath as he closed his eyes, his own fear being laid to rest for a moment, knowing the decision was not truly made. "You have just gained some wisdom, I fear."

"Alert all." Elrohir joked. "I will know when I will know." Elrohir said.

Elrond nodded, a sad smile on his own face, "Yes, you will."

"Estel seems so grown up." Elrohir remarked.

Elrond nodded, "Remarkable, is it not? And Estel is just the age when most of those heirs of Islidur came to our home to be fostered."

"There is something different about him." Elrohir said.

Elrond sighed, moving to look out over the realm, "There is something quite different about him. There is greatness in Estel, it is forming and growing with each day. Let us hope it stays that way."

Elrohir nodded at his father's words as he joined him on the balcony. His gaze took in the river, the waterfalls, the trees and all of the people. This was not the Golden Wood, in Imladris time was marked and change was quite obvious. There was always some matter to be seen to, some group of people requesting aid, some visitor passing through, or claiming to be passing though and yet never leaving. It had only been two years but he had missed this. Despite Arwen's words to the contrary, this was home. This was warmth. This was not the ice cold beauty of the Golden Wood, this was not the impressive fortress of Thranduil's ever darkening realm, it was not the smell of water and the sting of salt and the ever present taste and feeling of departure in Cirdan's realm. No, this was Imladris, this was light and warmth and comfort. This was where he was meant to be, these people were his family. And now, at this moment, that was more than enough. Elrohir placed a hand on his father's shoulder, "I should report in to Glorfindel. I will rejoin you soon."

Elrond nodded and turned back to look out over the valley. Elrohir left his father to his thoughts.

* * *

Eluialeth stretched her back, not knowing when she had last left her chair. There were reports coming in from Mirkwood each day, flooding Tirnion with problems to handle and flooding Eluialeth and Morwen with work to assist him. She jumped as a pair of hands came to rest on her back, massaging the tired muscles. 

"Lindir, I did not hear you." she said.

Lindir gave her an amused smile, "I am sure you did not for you have been engrossed in that work for days." Lindir's hands quickly worked out the tense muscles in her back. "Being a minstrel and having to sit in such a position for many hours, I am quite used to the stiffening of the back." He stepped away for Eluialeth, "There was a time where your father had me on call to work out such a problem."

"Truly?" Eluialeth asked.

Lindir nodded, "It would have been far too suspicious for your mother to do such a thing at the time. The eyes in Lindon were always watching, the ears always listening. Nothing is more dangerous than a building full of courtiers."

"I do wonder how Thranduil does it." Eluialeth mused.

"He cuts an impressive figure and generally guilts or glares everyone into submission." Tirnion said from the doorway.

Lindir nodded, "Yes, and from what I once saw of his father, Thranduil does it with much more skill and even more biting wit."

Tirnion laughed, "Yes, half the people he insults have no idea he is doing such a thing. I do enjoy witnessing it."

Lindir smiled as he made the way out of the room, "He does have a gilded tongue." he said. As Lindir passed Tirnion he whispered, "What exactly are you waiting for?"

Confused, Tirnion's gaze followed Lindir until he disappeared around a corner. "I fear there are times when that elf has inhaled far too mush rosin."

"He often says the same in regard to archers and bows or scribes and ink." Eluialeth said. "I have found some information on the rare few who have survived raiding a dragon's keep but I must tell you, Tirnion, this is beyond foolish."

"I am well aware but Thranduil is concerned that if the mortal men or the dwarves even get a hold of it, they will use it for ill."

Eluialeth stared at him blankly, "While Thranduil will use it for…"

"Making his gates and walls and armor quite beautiful and sparkling." Tirnion said, only slightly jesting.

"Morwen said it is well known most of what Smaug holds belongs to the dwarves." Eluialeth said.

Tirnion smiled tiredly, "Morwen, our little elven scholar of dwarves." Tirnion settled into a chair, "She is right of course, but Thranduil knows well his relationship with the dwarves is weak at best."

"Mutual respect hand-in-hand with mutual distaste." Eluialeth said.

Tirnion silently nodded.

"You are looking stressed and tired again." Eluialeth said.

Tirnion again nodded.

Eluialeth sat down beside him, "Do you think it would all go better if you were there?" she asked.

Tirnion smiled, "I do. I fear I will be heading back to Mirkwood a year or so before my anticipated return."

"That is not so sudden then." Eluialeth said.

"No, it is not." Tirnion agreed. "I need to bide my time here, doing as much research as I am able without being under the scrutiny of those in Mirkwood who view me with suspicion." He laughed humorlessly, "The seeds Saeros sowed all those years ago are finally coming to fruition, even without Bellion's help."

Eluialeth nodded as she stood up, "Then we must get back to the research."

Tirnion copied her movements, pulling another volume out of the stack to help him form another strategy, another battle plan, anything else than what he feared would happened. Tirnion did not want to see war in Mirkwood, but with each day it became more evident it was coming.

* * *

Glorfindel walked to the archery range, planning on taking his sudden free time and using it to exercise his idle body. He smiled to himself as the awed whispers of some of the younger and newer recruits followed him. 

There were three reasons why Glorfindel often went to the public archery range. First, was of course to exercise his body and keep his skill up. Second, was to watch the progress of the soldiers without singling any out. Third, and sometimes most important, was to gather information through the ever loose tongues of elves lounging around a playing field. More often than even he would desire to admit, Glorfindel had gained valuable information from the gossip he had overheard while on the ranges.

Glorfindel stumbled forward as a bow knocked behind his knee.

"Watch those reflexes, Glorfindel. You are becoming slow in your old age." Elrohir said.

Glorfindel shook his head, "I should have known you were coming back. Morwen, Rian, and Elladan have been running around, whispering, making plans."

"I wanted to surprise my father and…" Elrohir laughed. "Morwen."

"Morwen?" Glorfindel asked.

"As per your orders, I had an escort from LothLorien."

Glorfindel closed his eyes, "Please tell me you did not do what I am fearing you did."

"It has been a very long time since Haldir has seen our lovely valley." Elrohir said.

Glorfindel shook his head and glared at Elrohir, "You are aware that I will be blamed for this."

Elrohir patted Glorfindel's shoulder as he walked by, "That's what I was counting on."

"Does she know yet?" Glorfindel asked.

"You listen to me you arrogant, asinine, assiduously annoying elf…" Morwen yelled, her voice silencing the range.

"Oh, Morwen, it has been so long since I've reveled in the sound of your discordant tones. It is not my fault your staff does not have the proper bedding fibers for my room. And in this lovely realm, where Lord Elrond teaches you all to appreciate each duty here, then you should well know just how to rectify such a situation." Haldir said, his condescending tone being carried on the wind.

Glorfindel turned to look at Elrohir, "Elrohir, I adore you, but for your safety….."

"I should start running?" Elrohir asked.

"Yes." Glorfindel answered.

Elrohir nodded and strapped his bow around his shoulder, making his way quickly in the opposite direction. Glorfindel turned back to this target, concentrating on his task.

"You look murderous." Thandrog said as he came to stand beside Glorfindel. "I take it Elrohir has blamed you for the reason he needed to bring Haldir here."

"Indeed." Glorfindel answered as he notched his arrow and took his stance.

"Oh, stop acting like that." Thandrog said as he took his own stance, "we both know how much you love to see her all fiery and indignant."

"Thandrog…" Glorfindel warned.

"Sorry, I will not be so insubordinate." Thandrog said.

Glorfindel nodded as he let his arrow go he reached back for his next arrow, his ears picking up some of the conversation. He could hear Banion, one of the newest archers and a former minstrel, say to Baineth something about Morwen and Haldir.

"You know, I happen to believe their actions are a mere cover up for their true feelings." Banion said.

Baineth snort was quite audible, "Banion, this is not some song about love and devotion in a dangerous time. While they do enjoy prodding each other with insults, I assure you, there is no deep and hidden love between them."

"But do you not think their protestations are just a bit much?"

"I happen to think you should either take your shot or get off the range." Baineth said.

Glorfindel could not stop his smile, which widened as he heard Thandrog's laughter.

"It is good to be home." Thandrog said.

"Is that your subtle way of asking me not to send you to the south again?" Glorfindel asked.

"I enjoyed going through Rohan, lovely horses they have. They even let me ride one."

Glorfindel laughed, "If you are trying to make me jealous, you are succeeding."

"They seemed quite receptive to trading a horse for councilor training." Thandrog hinted.

"Truly?" Glorfindel asked, surprised.

"As long as it is not Erestor, yes." Thandrog said.

"Hmm." Glorfindel pondered as he let another arrow go.

He was aware of Thandrog's stare, especially when Thandrog said, "Please do not tell me you are pondering a horse for your…"

"Never." Glorfindel flinched as he heard the distinct sound of a knife being embedded in wood and Haldir's own brand of cursing. "Not usually." Glorfindel admitted. He handed his bow over to Thandrog, "Excuse me while I help to avert a diplomatic disaster."

Thandrog took the bow and nodded, "By the Grace of the Valar…."

"Yes, indeed." Glorfindel muttered as he made his way into the house.

* * *

"Estel, if you do not sit still I will slip and cut your ear off." Gilraen stated, her tone starting to convey her annoyance. 

"Estel, sit still for your mother." Elrond said as he sat in the corner, going over some of his letters.

Estel grumbled and sat still as his mother continued to cut the mysterious substance out of his hair. They still did not know what is was, only it would not come out and someone had thrown it directly at Estel, covering and ruining his clothes and the lower half of his hair.

"I will look horrid." Estel complained.

"You will look wonderful once your mother is finished with you." Rian said as she walked into the room, running critical eyes over his hair. "Though first, you must sit still."

Estel pouted and crossed his arms, "I am sitting still."

"If you are moving your arms and pouting you are not sitting still." Morwen said as she hurried into the room, coming to stand beside Elrond.

Elrond raised a curious brow, "What are you…"

"I may have lost my patience and am doing my best to avoid a lecture from Glorfindel." Morwen answered.

"Is Haldir bleeding?" Elrond asked.

"Not at all. The last time I saw him, he was laughing and applauding my efforts." Morwen said.

Elrond shook his head, "I do not understand you two."

"Which is lovely, since we hardly understand each other." Morwen said. "Do we know who did such a thing to Estel?"

Elrond sighed, "No, though Elladan is on it. I am sure he has found Elrohir and they are interrogating the whole of Imladris."

"As they should. Who would do such a thing?" Rian asked.

"Someone who has been raised with little tolerance in their hearts. Someone who is jealous of Estel's esteemed position in Imladris or someone who simply has a grudge against humans." Elrond answered.

Morwen shook her head, "The only one here who would be justified in having a grudge against humans is Rian and she has always cared for Estel."

"Yes well, just because a grudge exists does not mean it is justified." Elrond said. "Estel, sit still." he commanded.

Estel let out a disgruntled sigh as Gilraen looked at Elrond and mouthed a 'thank you.'

Glorfindel joined the ever expanding crowd in the room, giving Morwen a dark look, which turned darker when he was answered with a bright grin. He turned to Estel and Gilraen, smiling at the picture they made.

"Gilraen, hold him down, and I'll cut his hair." Glorfindel said.

Gilraen smiled, "I am more than willing to do that."

"No, no, I'll sit still." Estel told his mother.

"Why now?" Gilraen asked.

"Elladan and Elrohir said Glorfindel would cut all of my hair off."

"Of course they did." Rian muttered.

Elrond put his head in his hands and began to laugh uncontrollably, much to the amusement of some and the concern of others. "I am sorry," Elrond said. "I was just wondering how it is that I have seen and survived all I have and yet I and my most revered seneschal have been defeated by some hardened mass in a young boy's hair." Elrond smiled, "Life is, indeed, humorous."

"Yes." Glorfindel said as he quickly cut Estel's hair, being certain it was even. "There, you see, you have barely lost three inches though I fear it will be more difficult to pull it back now."

"We will find a way." Gilraen assured her son.

Estel nodded, "May I leave now?" Gilraen nodded.

Glorfindel followed him, "I will watch after him."

Rian soon followed them, as did Gilraen, soon only Morwen and Elrond were left in the room.

"Thandrog has been to see me, they need a new councilor in the south." Elrond said.

"Do you wish for me to go?" Morwen asked, surprised at the request.

Elrond sighed, "I do not know. I will go over the list but if I do not find someone suitable enough, I will order Erestor to send you out."

"You wish for me to prepare Glorfindel." Morwen said.

"If you would, yes." Elrond said.

"He will not be pleased." Morwen sighed as she imagined the discussion.

"I have bent to Glorfindel's will since your last attack. I cannot keep sending Eluialeth on your missions and neither she, nor Rian, is yet able to handle the dealings among the Men of the South." Elrond said.

"They have threatened me, Lord Elrond, often."

Elrond nodded, "They have. But I do not fear for your ability to stand up to them. Rian has her own deep rooted problems with such dealings and Eluialeth I fear…"

"Would not know how to function in a society where women are so held back and held down." Morwen pressed a hand to her forehead, "You know I will do whatever you bid."

Elrond nodded, "I thank you. For sending you, if I do, it will not be easy."

"But it will be easier than trying to send Rian or Eluialeth or one of the senior members who have already been refused admittance." Morwen said.

Elrond nodded, "I fear a good majority of the senior members are not welcome there."

"It is unlikely I will be welcomed there." Morwen said.

"They know of you, have heard of you, it is better if you go." Elrond said.

"You seem to have made the decision." Morwen stated in a resigned voice.

Elrond shook his head, "Not quite. There are a few more things I must ponder over before I make the final decision." The Lord of Imladris rose, "I must go answer some of these letters. Will you please request the minstrels to perform in the Hall of Fire tonight, it is the least we can do for Haldir."

Morwen nodded, "As my Lord bids." She watched him go, keeping a content smile on her face until Lord Elrond had left the room. She was thankful her shaking hands had apparently gone unnoticed. Taking one last look around the room she rose and contemplated on going to the library, seeking the comfort of her friends. She would share her concerns with Elladan and Elrohir later, possibly Erestor. They would know what she should do about this new found fear. Glorfindel did not have to know, not just yet, not before her possible departure.

Unknown to Morwen, Glorfindel had doubled back to the room in order to retrieve the knife he had used to cut Estel's hair. Seeing Morwen's shaking hands he rushed over, "What is it? What has happened?" he asked, fear clear in his voice.

Morwen looked up, "Dark fears and dreams becoming reality." Her hands stilled as they were held by Glorfindel's own. "I fear it is just anxiety."

Glorfindel placed a comforting hand on her face, "You do not wish to tell me?"

Morwen shook her head, "Not yet, not now." She turned into Glorfindel's side, "Are you going to lecture me?"

Glorfindel chuckled softly, "Since Haldir is nothing but amused, I suppose we can forego the lecture." He placed a soft kiss on their intertwined palms. "What is it about him that makes you so angry and forgetful of your manners?"

"It is Haldir, is that not enough?" Morwen asked before imitating the gesture Glorfindel had just done.

Glorfindel smiled, "I suppose that is enough. Now, let us go put on merry masks for our friends. Elrohir's return should be joyous and we must show Haldir we are, indeed, decent folk."

Morwen nodded as she stood up and refused to let go of Glorfindel's hand as they left the room. For now, she need to hold on, just for a little more time.

* * *

A/N 1: Due to some poking, some First Age stories in the Legend, Lore, and Lullabies series (this one) are now being posted on the lj under the overall story title of _Anamnesis_. If you so desire to read the story of what Glorfindel told Morwen in the last chapter, that account is the first story in the Anamnesis set. 

A/N 2: Thanks.

**Renna**, my twin issues is actually a bit more complicated than most. I am an identical twin but my sister has a severe case of cerebral palsy, so that makes things a little different. Somehow though we have an odd connection through our mother (who has to dress my sister) and we still somehow manage to dress alike. I blame it on mom. As for my thesis…I have one more year until I have to commit and I am taking it. It will probably be something on Pre-Fascist Italy. More power to you one being a philosophy major (I tried it, since I am also a humanities girl and yeah, Aristotle, Plato and I had some issues….so then I went running into the embracing arms of my Buddhist religion classes). Thank you, as always, for your reviews.

**Sielge**, Thank you! I am trying to churn at the chapters as much as I can.

**Nima**, Thank you for both of the reviews (there is a reply on the lj as well). I will try to get the next Once I Was story out this weekend. Elrohir has a lot of thinking to do in the future as does Elladan, but they will all get through it. Tirnion couldn't leave me if he tried, he's mine, all mine ::evil cackle:: He's also yet another example of a character who was not even supposed to exist and then just took over. And yes, poor Glorfindel, ever trying to be romantic and ever shot down by his more cynical other half.


	7. He Isn't Always Wrong

**Disclaimer: Still mostly all Tolkien's, I own the original character's personalities and Billy Joel owns his songs.**

**Loss and Hope **

****

**_Chapter Seven: He Isn't Always Wrong_**

_Well, we all fall in love _

_But we disregard the danger _

_Though we share so many secrets _

_There are some we never tell _

_Why were you so surprised _

_That you never saw the stranger _

_Did you ever let your lover see _

_The stranger in yourself?  
_- Billy Joel, _The Stranger_ (chapter title also from song)

**_TA 2940_**

"Should you have not returned to your home by now?" Morwen asked the intruder in her office.

"I just find it so pleasant here and I am not yet needed at home." Haldir propped himself on Morwen's desk, "Furthermore, if I left I could not spend each new day staring at your waxen face."

Morwen refused to rise to the bait as she ignored him and attempted to proceed with the day's work.

Haldir continued, "I have only been here for a mere year, you must agree that is not long enough to enjoy all the pleasures of this realm."

Morwen cleared her throat as she moved to her next stack of work. "From what I have heard, you have greatly enjoyed the pleasures of this realm."

Haldir smiled as he sat back, "There are quite a few lovely little things to delight in here."

"Things? Oh, how kind you are." Morwen stated with an icy tone.

"From how they all described your lovely person, I must say, I did not think they were friends of yours." Haldir said.

"While I may refuse to subject myself to the poison of those elves' words and advances, that does not mean I think it right for you to toy with them." Morwen said.

"Yet you show no concern for them toying with me." Haldir said.

Morwen finally glanced up at him, "Oh, Haldir, do you need a protector? Has that stone known as your heart been broken?"

"A crystal tear may have fallen from my eye when I was pushed out of that last bed." Haldir sneered.

"Oh, did you twist your ankle? Bruise your wrist?" Morwen asked.

"You could attempt to be sympathetic." Haldir said with a put upon air.

"Like you were so sympathetic to me when you dropped me into the water." Morwen said.

"You were young and wriggling I did not intend to do such a thing." Haldir again tried to defend his action from all those years ago.

"Ah, but you did it anyway. And then you laughed." Morwen said.

Haldir smiled, "Elves are joyful beings, we laugh. Even if it is at the expense of others."

"This elf finds it degrading." Morwen stated as she dropped her gaze to her work.

"This elf," Haldir said as he gestured to himself, "finds that elf far too sensitive."

"This elf feels that that elf," Morwen said as she pointed an ink stained quill in Haldir's direction, "is far too self-centered and arrogant."

Haldir, standing up so as to avoid the fearful ink stains gave Morwen a glare, "This elf.." he started.

"This elf feels you both need to quiet yourselves before all the other elves drown you both in the Bruinen." A clearly agitated Elrohir said from the other side of Morwen's desk where he had been attempting to sketch out a landscape.

Haldir pouted as he batted his lashes at Morwen, "Someone is touchy." he said as he gestured to Elrohir.

Morwen felt a smile spread across her face, despite her best attempts to hold it back. She shook her head refusing to answer as she concentrated on one of the letters.

Elrohir looked at Haldir, "While you may enjoy your respite here, some of us would like to ride out."

"You could ride out if you wanted to." Haldir said.

"I would not defy Glorfindel." Elrohir told him.

"You hold a higher rank than him." Haldir felt the need to say.

"As a member of the court, not as a solider of the realm." Elrohir answered as he began to sketch the outline of Estel's face, his eyes resting on the young male in the gardens with his mother. It was amazing to see the growth in Estel through the past year, hard to believe such a thing. It was just another testament to the difference between the growth of elves and the growth of humans.

"Ah, Glorfindel." Haldir remarked as he began to walk around the office, his fingers gliding over the desks of Rian and even Eluialeth, something few would ever attempt to do. Elrohir and Morwen watched with bated breath, waiting to see if Eluialeth had set some trap on her desk to attack any intruders. Both were slightly upset when no such thing happened.

"Do you not have any other elves to irritate?" Morwen asked.

"Of course I do." Haldir answered. "You are merely my favorite elf to irritate."

Elrohir snorted, trying to cover his mirth with his well-placed arm. He ducked his head as he felt Morwen's dark eyes settle on him. Elrohir stood up, "I believe I will go to the gardens, the sunlight is beautiful today."

"Please, take Haldir with you." Erestor remarked from the doorway, drawing the attention of the three other elves.

Elrohir nodded giving Haldir a look that plainly told him he would follow without protest.

Erestor watched them go, silently appraising them.

As the door to the office closed Erestor sat down in front of Morwen's desk.

"The replacement councilor that was sent to the south is returning and, apparently, resigning from his post." Erestor told her, not even bothering with idle talk.

"What happened?" Morwen asked, her voice as tired as the look in her eyes.

"He was physically assaulted by some drunken males who disagreed with his advice. He apparently had little authority among them." Erestor said.

"He is one of the senior councilors." Morwen said in disbelief.

"He _was_ one of the senior councilors." Erestor told her. His dark eyes settled on Morwen's face, "Now a seat has been opened."

Morwen looked down, "Are you insinuating…."

"It would be a contingent acceptance, to take the seat you must ride out. To not take the seat, you may still have to ride out." Erestor said.

Morwen sat back in her chair and raised her eyes to meet those of her mentor, "Open seats are not common, if it is given to me it will be viewed as favoritism and we could all be accused of nepotism."

"I would be giving you nothing, you have earned the seat." Erestor sighed, "And to be honest, with this first member stepping down and possibly sailing west, I am sure more will follow. They may accuse us all they want, I need a trusted council member down there who I know can command a room and who has a reputation among those people for being demanding and resourceful. You would, of course, be sent with a significant guard."

"No." Morwen said. "If I ride there with a large guard I will be viewed as even more of a threat. Four guards at most, skilled ones. One should be disguised as my assistant."

"You sound like you are taking this position." Erestor said with a dark smile.

"You have already made the decision for me, your presence here is merely a necessary, yet pointless, act." Morwen answered, having seen through Erestor's indifferent look as Chief Councilor.

"It is tradition and habit and law. You have to be informed before we ship you off." Erestor smiled, his face showing both pride and concern, "Your spot as a junior councilor will be free, do you have a suggestion?"

Morwen smiled, "Oh, I do. But we will definitely be accused of nepotism then."

"Do you think Eluialeth is truly ready?" Erestor asked.

"More so than any other, she has been waiting for this." Morwen said.

Erestor nodded, "Would you like me to inform Glorfindel?"

Morwen shook her head as she placed her quill in its holder and secured the top of the ink well. "No, I will do it. There are things I need to say to him that concern the whole matter. It will be better if he hears it from me first."

Erestor nodded. He stayed silent as he watched Morwen put away her work, "Morwen, you can do this." Erestor said.

Morwen smiled, "I know I can, I've overseen councils between bickering elven realms and have survived this past year of Haldir's company. I know I can do this, Erestor, I just know it will be far from easy."

"It rarely is." Erestor agreed as he guided Morwen out of the room. "I will not keep you there long, a year at most. If they have not reached a decision or an agreement by that time, we will pull back our aid. For too long they have been wasting our time with their own indecision and suspicion. We do have more important things to attend to."

"Have you received news from Mithrandir?" she asked.

Erestor smiled, "Oh, we have indeed. Quite a merry plan our favorite wizard is making, and disrupting as many lives as he can while he does it. Elrond is already preparing."

"Will you not tell me?"

Erestor placed a friendly arm around Morwen's shoulders, "Trust me, when it will happen, you will know."

Fearing said action, Morwen simply laughed and tried not to think about the often confusing affairs of wizards.

* * *

Glorfindel forced Tirnion back into his seat, "Stay still." he ordered. 

Tirnion gave him a glare, "My people need me."

"Your people need their seneschal calm and cool headed." Glorfindel told him.

"They have spiders on one side, a dragon on the other, threats of war from dwarven colonies, orcs making off with the life of our cattle and…."

"You are beginning to hyperventilate." Glorfindel told him, pressing a glass into his hands. "You will do none of us any good if you put yourself into a state of worry."

"Imagine if it was Imladris." Tirnion said.

"Imagine if it was a dark lord, and Balrogs, and fire and steam and a trapped city." Glorfindel told him.

Tirnion ducked his head, "I am sorry, Glorfindel. My comment was inappropriate and insensitive."

Glorfindel patted his shoulder, "You are one of the few who say such things and mean them. You are forgiven. It is quite common to view one's own situation as the worst imaginable." Glorfindel walked to his desk, "Sadly, among elves of old it is rare you will win such an argument."

"It is not a competition or argument I have any great desire to win." Tirnion said. He put the glass on Glorfindel's desk and sat back, almost feeling like an elfling. "I do not know what to do." Tirnion admitted.

Glorfindel smiled, "A truly wise elf you are to admit such a thing."

Tirnion smiled, "Indeed."

"Even if you rode back, it is likely Thranduil will send you out to negotiate in some other realm." Glorfindel told him.

Tirnion nodded, "I know, he has done such before. I would just feel more….."

"Proactive?"

"Useful." Tirnion answered.

"If you want to ride back, I can do nothing to stop you. I would, however, beg you to stay with us for another month at the least, give us time to adjust to your loss." Glorfindel said.

"My loss?" Tirnion asked.

"Tirnion, whether or not you have realized it, you have become essential in the running of Imladris. You mean a great deal to us." Glorfindel said with a warm smile.

Tirnion tried to hide his own smile but was unsuccessful, "Thank you for your kind words, Glorfindel."

"I merely speak the truth." Glorfindel regarded Tirnion for a moment. "Tirnion, why have you not…" Glorfindel was cut short by a knock at the door. Seeing Tirnion's nod, Glorfindel called out, "Enter."

Morwen carefully peered around the door, "I was wondering if I could merely talk to you for a moment. If you and Tirnion are in a deep discussion, I can come back later, it can wait."

Glorfindel and Tirnion both studied Morwen. Glorfindel wondered if the silver-haired elf saw what he saw, the tension in Morwen's body, the tired and resigned look in her eyes, and the indescribable hint of some darker, deeper emotion.

"No, it cannot wait." Tirnion said as he stood. He gave another nod to Glorfindel and made his way out of the room, pressing a comforting hand on Morwen's shoulder.

Glorfindel stood up, walking over to Morwen's side as Tirnion closed the door.

"Erestor told you about the open position." he said.

"He led me to believe you did not know." Morwen said.

"I did not know your stand on the matter." Glorfindel said.

Morwen shook her head, "Why do you all even bother to let us think we have control over such things?"

"To keep you all from rioting." Glorfindel said with amusement.

Morwen sat down in the chair so recently occupied by Tirnion, "I feel as if I do not deserve such a…" her words were stopped as she suddenly found Glorfindel's hand over her mouth.

"Do not finish that statement." Glorfindel ordered. "You have held such a position for over a thousand years."

Morwen tired to speak but was still halted by the hand.

"It is time for you to go forth with your ambition." Glorfindel said as removed his hand, crouching down next to Morwen. "You have never been so modest about your abilities as a councilor. What is the true problem?"

Morwen looked into Glorfindel's eyes, finding the trust and the comfort there. "I am afraid of traveling to the south. The threats may or may not have started to get to my nerves."

Glorfindel shook his head, "You should not let such things get to you, you have not in the past."

Morwen sighed, "Well, attacks can change a person."

"You were never attacked in the south." Glorfindel said.

Morwen stared at him, "Should you not be comforting me?"

Glorfindel laughed, "I am, by making you all indignant."

She narrowed her eyes, "I forbid you from spending any more time than necessary with Haldir."

Glorfindel laughed, pulling Morwen from the chair. "Most in your position would be celebrating."

"Most do not realize the true responsibility of the position." Morwen argued.

"You are far too…"

"Do not say it."

"..cynical." Glorfindel said. He pulled Morwen to the door, "You need a moment of respite, a moment of freedom, a moment of…"

"Not hearing you telling me a need a moment of something?"

Glorfindel laughed, "Go, find Eluialeth. Take the rest of the day."

"You do realize that is more of a punishment for me than a reward." Morwen said.

"I promise to bring you stacks upon stacks of work later tonight." Glorfindel assured her.

"Oh, you do know the way to my heart." Morwen said.

Glorfindel placed a soft kiss to her lips, "Indeed."

* * *

"I have always known I am not an elf, that I am of human blood. But today," Estel ducked his head as he sneezed again, "today I realize just how not an elf I truly am." 

"Yes, well, the twins should have known better than to take you riding during a rain storm, even if it was to teach you how to ride in foul weather." Elrond said. He carried the young boy to the bed in the healing halls. Gilraen had sent the boy out yesterday with the twins after Elrohir had found them in the gardens not realizing the sunny day would soon turn dark. The twins had known better, both able to smell the soon to be falling rain.

"One rainstorm should not do this." Gilraen said, having carried her son to Elrond's office after he had nearly fell on the stairs.

"One rainstorm did not do this." Elrond said. "Though it certainly did not help." Elrond placed Estel on the bed before heading to one of the tables in the room, quickly mixing up a concoction and pouring it into a glass. He reached for the container of honey, knowing it often made it easier to swallow for both young and old. He smiled at Estel, "Drink this."

Estel took a sniff, "Honey, peppermint leaves and…."

"Elder flowers." Elrond answered at his smiled at his pupil. "It will help with the fever."

"What fever?" Estel asked.

Elrond smiled, "Drink."

Estel did so, under the watchful gazes of his mother and Elrond.

Elrond smiled at Gilraen, "He will be fine, out of it for a few days at least, but he will be fine."

Gilraen nodded, "I know, he just has never had a cold."

"One of the benefits of living among elves." Elrond said. He patted Gilraen's hand, "I will check on him in an hour."

Gilraen nodded as she ran a hand through Estel's hair, "I will be here. Please, tell the twins to hold back and let him rest for a few hours."

Elrond nodded as he stood up and left the room. He glanced back once before he left, struck by the sight of the dark haired mother looking over her young son. For a moment he wondered if his own mother had done such a thing, though he could not remember nor did he know of any who could tell him if she had He felt a sad smile come across his face before muttering a healing prayer and closing the door.

* * *

Glorfindel had discussed with many of his favored warriors who would be willing to lead Morwen's escort to the south. It was an important task and would be one that would require their utmost attention. Three had eagerly taken the chance and the fourth would only be an escort for part of the journey. 

He walked to Morwen's office, where baskets and trunks were strewn across the room as they prepared for her move into the new office. Rian was out for a walk with Elladan, both finding something appealing about walking in the gardens after a rain. Eluialeth barely glanced at him as he entered, much too concerned with her own work. He stood behind Morwen as she wrote a letter to Galdor.

"Yes?" she asked, finally acknowledging his presence.

Glorfindel smiled as he watched her continue to write, her hair, so hastily pulled away from her neck and tied up, swaying with her movements.

"I have some news you might desire to hear." Glorfindel said.

"Hmm?" Morwen asked, clearly more concerned with her letter than his words.

Sighing, Glorfindel leaned forward, feeling his chest press against her back. He softly laughed as he felt her jump in surprise.

"Do you two require a private moment?" Eluialeth asked, giving them a knowing look.

Glorfindel shook his head as he covered Morwen's hands with his own, stopping her writing. "We are fine, Eluialeth. Morwen, I have set your escort for the journey south." he said.

"Oh dear, are you feeling generous or not in regards to me?" Morwen asked.

Glorfindel raised a brow, "Why would you ask such a thing?"

"If you are not, Haldir will be in my escort." Morwen answered.

Glorfindel tired not to laugh, "Haldir is not in your escort. Baineth is, as is Elrohir…"

"You are letting him out?" Eluialeth asked.

"It is time." Glorfindel agreed. "Thandrog will also be joining you."

"He has much hatred for going south." Morwen said.

"He volunteered for the duty." Glorfindel said. "While I suspect his motives slightly, Thandrog has often guarded you and knows your own mannerisms well which will help if you are in distress and not able to verbally alert him."

"Yes, and one of the last times Thandrog guarded her, she received a.." Eluialeth started.

Glorfindel narrowed his eyes at the youngest child of Erestor, "Eluialeth, I believe your father needs your assistance."

"I though you two did not desire a moment alone." Eluialeth remarked as she left, laughing to herself at the dark looks of both Morwen and Glorfindel.

"Tirnion will also be in my escort." Morwen stated.

"Yes, he is needed at home. Thranduil has requested a way for him to travel without appearing he is headed to Mirkwood, your escort provides a likely cover." Glorfindel said.

Morwen nodded, "Thank you, Glorfindel. You picked an escort full of those I can trust."

"And those who can comfort you." Glorfindel kissed the top of her head, "Elrohir will be there to protect you and listen to your fears, do not turn away from his assistance and his care. You ride in a fortnight."

Morwen turned her head to look at him, "So soon?" she asked.

"I fear Erestor would have had you riding out today if it was not for my own request to give you some more time." Glorfindel answered.

"There was once a time when I fought you to let me out of this realm and now I do not want to leave."

"This is not like visiting the Havens or Mirkwood, this is something entirely different." Glorfindel said.

Morwen nodded, "I thank you. While I hate to have you leave, I must finish this. Galdor has many concerns and I would like to send my response to him as soon as I am able."

Glorfindel smiled, "I do understand." Placing a deep kiss on Morwen's upturned lips and then pulling back to place another on the exposed nape of her neck he whispered, "Come see me tonight."

Morwen nodded, a secretive smile on her face before proceeding with her letter.

* * *

Estel turned a tired eye to the window, "Do they ever stop singing?" 

Gilraen laughed, "They tend not to do such things near our chambers but it would appear that they feel the need to spend all night in song."

The elves had been singing for hours and while their voices were soothing and their songs merry it did have the odd tendency of grating on a young boy's nerves when he was trying to rest and yet trying to hear the songs to learn of what they said.

"I am sure we can ask Elrond to have them moved." Gilraen told her son, her hand resting on his still warm forehead.

Estel weakly shook his head, "Let them sing. It is soothing for the others and they have not sung so much in a very long time."

"They also sing for you." Elladan said from the doorway, his twin walking behind him.

"Really?" Estel asked, his normally advanced vocabulary reduced to simple words in his weak state.

"Yes, they wish to make you feel better." Elladan said as Elrohir came to the bedside, quickly checking Estel's health.

"How does your head feel?" Elrohir asked with a soothing voice.

"Full." Estel answered. "More full than it has ever felt after a lecture from Erestor on the history of the First Age."

Elladan laughed, "Then that is one very full head."

Elrohir nodded, "We apologize again for dragging you out in such weather, if we had known you were so close to falling ill.."

"I had fun." Estel said. "And I learned about how a horse can react during a storm and how to prevent injury to myself and the horse."

Gilraen nodded, "He has told me all he has learned. I think a head cold and some bed rest is a worthy price to pay for such knowledge." Gilraen smiled at the twins, "It also give me a fine reason for being away from the ladies of the court, so perhaps I should thank you."

Elladan snickered as Elrohir ducked his head to hide his own amusement. Elladan was going to pass his own comment on the ladies of the court when he fell silent. He gestured in the direction of Estel.

All three of the adults smiled at the sight of the sleeping boy, finally lulled to the land of dreams by the words of the elvish songs.

* * *

It was mere days before Morwen's journey. Estel had finally found himself well enough to be out of bed, though handing him training weapons was another issue entirely. Erestor was going slightly mad as he prepared all the documents Morwen was to taken on her journey, the ranks of soldiers were all atwitter with the news of who was traveling and for what reason and Elladan and Rian had found themselves on the annoyed side of many people's nerves as their doe-eyed staring at each other had caused them to run into many an elf, human, and tree. Morwen and Elrohir, being intelligent elves, had decided to escape the madness. 

"I have no desire to head south." Morwen confessed.

"That does, indeed, make two of us. Though, it will get me out of the realm." Elrohir said.

"You have been back a year, at most." Morwen told him.

"And I have not been let out on patrol for fear of my distraction." Elrohir sighed as he started juggling apples in his boredom. "Why are we both out here?" Elrohir asked as he looked over the orchard.

"We both needed to escape." Morwen answered.

"Elladan and Rian also driving you mad?" Elrohir asked.

"And Haldir and oddly, Tirnion." Morwen said.

Elrohir nodded in agreement, "He is getting oddly paranoid."

"It is rare when his family actually writes to him with concerns over the future of the realm." Morwen said.

"He is leaving, soon." Elrohir said as he missed one of the apples, finding himself ducking as it came down upon his face. "Poor Eluialeth." he said.

"Poor unaware Eluialeth who has no idea how much she will miss him." Morwen said.

"Poor Estel." Elrohir continued.

"Poor Estel who does not know his archery teacher will soon be leaving until…."

Elrohir nodded, "Until. I guess we will all have to band together and teach him. And by we I mean, everyone but you."

"I can teach him diplomacy, well, a level of diplomacy less biting than that which Erestor will teach him. If he is to live as Elrond has predicted, he needs to know how to rule a room while appearing as you are the one ruled." Morwen said, ignoring Elrohir's jab at her archery skills, or lack thereof.

"We should not be hiding here." Elrohir said.

Morwen shrugged, "There is madness all throughout that house. We, as the only sane members, are required to stay out here and be our only little island of sanity."

Elrohir chomped down on one of the apples, "At least we have food."

"And paper and ink." Morwen said as she gestured to the items.

"And shade." Elrohir said as he placed a thankful hand on the tree they were leaning against.

"Who knows how long it will be before we can do such a thing again, we earned this." Morwen said.

Elrohir was too content to argue and simply nodded in agreement.

* * *

Celebrian caressed the leather cover of the most recent account of the year. She sat in her library, letting herself be bathed in the warm sunlight. This was the library, the first room of the new home she was having built, the first room to be completed. It seemed the most important thing of all. 

Her eyes strayed to the detailed plans Glorfindel had squirreled away in one of the books, plans for his own home and the furniture to be created and placed within.

A smile came to her face at the very detailed instructions for the desks, two to be exact, replicas of Glorfindel's desk in the his barrack's office.

She could not wait until they saw them all again.

As the soft voice of Laeriel inquired where she was, Celebrian gave one last caress to the book cover before turning from the room and going in search of her friend.

The End.

* * *

A/N 1: Again, sorry for the delay, there was just grad work and work work stuff to do. Also, end of story, not of series. I cannot say when the next story will be up, because I will be going home next week (Thanksgiving Time, USA) and will be flying up and down the eastern seaboard and will be bombarded with family. The laptop is coming with me though, so there might be an update. As for the whole "why I used Billy Joel lyrics," well, another part of my life story (which I know may seem slightly insanely tragic (which it is not) but is true) is my father dying when I was young. He was a huge Billy Joel fan, raised us on the music and I have always found the songs (esp "Only the Good Die Young" and "Billy the Kid" (dad's name was Billy)) to bring a smile to my face. So, this is my little, tiny, sort of tribute to him. And next _Once I Was_ story is up on the lj and is one of the accounts of the Snow and Ice Incident of TA 145. 

A/N 2: Thanks:

**Sielge**, Glad to know you enjoyed the interactions. They are what I tend to do a lot of! Hope you enjoy this chapter as well and thank you for your kind words about my sister, but hey, it's been nearly twenty-three years and we are still doing well!

**Nima**, thank you for the review! As I try to make the elves "real" I can only guess that some of them are really not cool with other beings (see dwarves for example) and I think that has to be acknowledged and shown, especially since I believe no one is flawless, elves included. It is, sadly, the way of the world and some let their fear of the unknown turn to horrible hatred. Morwen's whole thing will be dealt with more in the next story, though said story does have a large Mirkwood focus on it.

**Renna**, thank you! Haldir and Morwen have a very special relationship, they just love to snark at each other. I don't like to use Haldir too much, but when I do use him I like him to be memorable. And hell, I'm sticking with Tolkien on this one, Haldir will see the Fourth Age. Glorfindel and romance, there will be more of that in the future, since I will not lie, I enjoy writing him in such a state. Personally, it amuses me greatly that things do not come so easy for him in regards to Morwen. Just wait until Morwen and Ecthelion meet ::evil cackle:: Poor Glorfindel.

As for my sister, well, it's a severe case of cerebral palsy. She is both mentally and physically handicapped, confined to a wheel chair, quadriplegic, can't speak or write, but can communicate with sounds and by using her hands and feet to point to things. It sounds tragic and sad, but really, she is a very happy person, always smiling (and do not get me started on her Justin Timberlake love, I'm almost ashamed of it). After nearly twenty-three years, we all have it down to a science. As for my thesis, I do not speak Italian yet (I spent ten years studying Latin) but it is on my list of things I must do before I get my Masters. With Pre-Fascism I am, personally, fascinated with the different regions of southern and northern Italy and their struggles to relate to each other, it has an anthropological skew, and I am sure I will also tie it into Southern Italian immigration into the United States in the 1800s, but we shall see. I was originally going to do Ancient Rome (Early Empire, think Ovid, who is my Latin Love) but I just got kind of burned out on the topic. As I said with the Ancient Greeks, I love Socrates through Plato, and I do love Plato's Allegory of the Cave but me and Aristotle, yeah, it was like me and Immanuel Kant, not so good. Again, seriously, I admire you for being able to grasp it and understand it, and I would say like it, but people wonder why I like translating Cicero and Ovid, so yeah.


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